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“Everything.” If I wasn’t already determined to put this shit behind us, this is the moment that would have broken me. Jack Deguerre didn’t need to bother with his threats against my family to get me to play ball. “We’re going to live our damn lives. I’m going to graduate and get out from under my father’s thumb. You’re going to do what actually makes you happy. Travel. Learn. Eat. Have amazing sex. Whatever the fuck you want. Nothing else matters.”
She looks up at me, tears tracking down her face. “I don’t understand.”
“Olivia obviously doesn’t want your help. All this bullshit with Havoc House and whatever secrets people are hiding…we can just let it go. We don’t have to focus on anything but ourselves.”
It’s obvious from her expression that Gigi isn’t convinced. “I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I want to do that.”
“Let me show you how.” I pick her up and carry her to the bed. “Stay with me tonight.”
“Anya is going to wonder where—”
“Don’t worry about it.” I settle us against the pillows so she’s cuddled up against me and flick off the light. “When she asks, tell her you spent the night with your secret boyfriend.”
“Secret?”
“Only for another few hours. Or do you want me to go wake everybody up for an official announcement right now? Just say the word.”
Gigi huffs out a laugh against my chest. “Anya hates you, you know.”
“She’ll get over it. Or she won’t. I don’t give a fuck. If you’re happy, I’m happy. Nothing else matters.”
“What happened?” she asks, rising suddenly to stare at me. “Did you find Anton?”
“He was a dead end,” I lie. “The guy didn’t even know who Olivia was.”
“Seriously?”
“Trust me. If he knew anything, he would have told me. Anton is just some pathetic guy living in his mom’s basement.”
Gigi exhales on a long sigh, but she doesn’t seem as disappointed as I would have thought she’d be. “Maybe it’s for the best. Like I need another sign from the universe that I’ve been wasting my time.”
I’m surprised by how quickly she seems to accept my explanation. She lays her head back down on my chest and snuggles closer. Her breathing slows, but I force myself to stay awake until I’m sure she has fallen asleep.
I know hiding things from her isn’t what a good guy would do. But I’ll take any lie to my grave if it means keeping her safe and happy. That is a burden I’m willing to carry until the end of my days.
If I have to be the bad guy to keep her, then that’s what I’ll be.
Chapter Ten
I sneak out of Drake’s room before he wakes up because I’m not sure how to face him in the light of day. As much as it’s a relief to have him back, that isn’t the only thing I feel.
I feel like a damn failure.
My unease isn’t even about Olivia, at least not entirely. I don’t have to forgive Drake for what I walked into, because nothing about it was his fault. She took advantage of him in the same way others have taken advantage of her.
There is a cruel sort of irony in that.
What actually bothers me the most is that my first thought when I saw her naked and twined around him was how to get her out of Havoc House with no one seeing her. Then I realized Olivia doesn’t have to hide. Everyone thinks she is Evangeline.
As Evangeline, she doesn’t have to be anyone’s dirty little secret.
So I snuck out like a coward because I didn’t want to deal with the fallout if one of the Havoc Boys discovered me in Drake’s bed. I didn’t want to make him choose between the secret we’ve been forced to keep and humiliating me to keep it. I desperately want to believe Drake when he says that we don’t have to hide anymore, but I’m not ready to put that belief to the test.
Because I’m the one who will suffer most if things go badly.
I end up in the dining hall. Not because I’m hungry, but in the hopes of avoiding Anya and the inevitable conversation she’ll want to have about where I went last night.
But I shouldn’t have bothered. The moment I step inside the room, she waves at me from our usual table like the excitable early bird she is.
