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“Are you sure you’re okay?”
I expect him to say that he is and then tell me to go to sleep. Instead, his body tenses and he breathes out the last thing I want to hear.
“There is something I haven’t told you.”
Sitting up, I face him fully. Even though the words are vague, I already know I’m not going to want to be touching him in about five seconds.
He watches me gather myself, obviously waiting to judge my reaction before choosing how to proceed.
Unease swirls in my belly as my brain imagines any number of terrible scenarios. Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I ask the question hanging in the air between us. “What haven’t you told me?”
“I didn’t get out of jail because Olivia recanted her statement,” he pauses, studying my expression. “I got out of jail because the alumni got me out. And they only helped me because I agreed to keep my mouth shut about anything that happened last year.”
His words fade in and out of my hearing over the sound of rushing water in my ears. I only piece together what he is saying because I can’t tear my gaze away from his lips moving as he forms the words. The name Jack Deguerre floats in and then out of my awareness, along with a bunch of other unnecessary details.
My hands tremble as they ball into fists in my lap, and I hug a pillow to my chest. “Was Anton really a dead-end?”
“Not entirely,” he admits. “But close enough. Yes, he confirmed that Havoc Boys were involved in Olivia’s attack, but he barely knew any more than that. Anton just stood watch while someone else hurt her. He couldn’t give me the name of her attacker. I’m positive that the alumni wouldn’t have left him alive if he could.”
I barely recognize my own voice when I finally speak. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because they had Felicia. Her mix-up with customs wasn’t an accident. Jack made it clear that what happened to Olivia would be nothing compared to what they would do to Felicia if I didn’t play ball. I promised to keep my mouth shut.” He watches me closely, as if trying to decide how much more he has to say to keep me from exploding. Manipulative bastard. “I know you must be angry that I chose Felicia over the truth about Olivia. I am so sorry, but I really didn’t feel like I had a choice.”
He actually has the nerve to look surprised when the pillow comes flying at his face. I didn’t even realize that I intended to hit him until I’m already halfway through the motion.
Even though the hit doesn’t do any damage, the look on his face is momentarily satisfying. I can only dream of hurting him in the way he just hurt me.
His eyes briefly close in defeat. “You are angry.”
“I’m fucking livid.” I hit him with the pillow again and he doesn’t defend himself. “But I’m not mad that you protected your sister and saved yourself from a prison sentence—”
“You’re not?”
“No. I’m pissed that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the fucking truth.” Anger is quickly making way for other emotions, like a sadness so acute I can barely breathe through the force of it. “Things were supposed to change, but here you are lying to me again.”
“Gigi…” He grabs my arm, but I evade him.
“No.” The warning hand I raise is enough to stop him as I slide off the bed. Blindly, I reach for my jacket through a haze of tears. “I just need some time.”
He doesn’t ask me how much time and I don’t offer to tell him.
Because however much time we have left still might not be enough.
Chapter Eighteen
“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Nolan sobs. His head lolls back on the couch, a half-empty glass hanging loosely from one hand. “I just can’t believe it.”
Cole cracks open another beer and takes a swig from it. “I can’t believe you actually liked the guy. All this time, I figured you were just sucking up.”
Nolan glares at him with bleary eyes. “I fucking loved that guy.”
“We know you did, buddy.” Cole raises his beer in a mock salute, lips twisting in an almost smile. “I’m sure Brady would react this same way if it had been you.”
Nolan makes a plaintive sound. “I know he would.”
I swoop in to grab his glass before it hits the ground. “I think you’ve had enough of this.”
“It’ll never be enough,” Nolan cries. “Brady was the best of us.”
