AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Brian
It turned out a quiet house wasn’t any better than Morgan’s questioning. She knocked on his door to let him know food was in the kitchen and that she and Asad were heading out.
He ate alone. Sat alone. Thought alone. Normally, that wouldn’t bother him. He was used to being alone. Liked it. Was happy for company but could take or leave it. Right now, though, it chafed. He wanted a distraction, yet he couldn’t think of where he would go to get away from everything… because what he really needed to get away from were his own emotions.
He wished he could call his grandma and talk to her. She always had the best advice. She would have loved Rae.
After dinner, he sat on the couch, staring at the television he wasn’t really watching, replaying the last week in his mind. He understood why Rae didn’t want to call him ‘Daddy,’ he did, yet he also couldn’t help but think… is it really that big a deal?
But then, of course, his brain twisted it around on him.
If it’s not that big a deal, then why am I insisting on needing it?
Hypocrisy, thy name is Brian.
But once he had the thought, he couldn’t escape it. It zoomed round and round and round his head.
If he wanted her to give in to calling him ‘Daddy’ because it was what he preferred, why was that more important than her preference for not doing so?
It wasn’t.
In fact, by all standards of what he felt made a good Dom, first came her needs, then his needs, then her wants, then his wants.
Was being called ‘Daddy’ a need on his part, or was it a want?
And… he wasn’t really sure.
It was how he’d imagined his life, how he’d imagined his relationship for so long, he wasn’t sure he could let that go. He wanted to be his submissive’s Daddy. He wanted to take care of her, to support her, to have her give up control to him.
Does she have to call me Daddy to do all of that?
He didn’t know.
He used to know. He used to be sure.
Now, he was questioning everything, and it didn’t even matter because he and Rae were over, anyway. He wasn’t going to put himself through that again. But it was an important question to answer for himself, especially if it came up again. Maybe the lesson he was supposed to learn here was that he needed to be more flexible if he wanted to find his perfect babygirl in the future.
Maybe she wouldn’t want to call him ‘Daddy,’ either.
Or maybe he was supposed to learn that he wouldn’t be happy without it?
He’d felt pretty damn happy with Rae the past week.
Was it sustainable?
His doorbell ringing made him jump. His heart leapt in his chest.
Surely… no.
It couldn’t be.
But he found hope surging inside him as he pushed himself to his feet.
Hope that he tried to push away because he knew the right thing to do, even if it was Rae on the other side of the door. She’d used up all her chances.
He still hoped, though. That stubborn, gritty hope that refused to be tamped down or eradicated, that clung on through every one of his vows to himself. And when he opened the door to see Zach standing there, he felt nothing but disappointment.
Though the disappointment was quickly swept away by concern as he took in the other man’s appearance. He looked disheveled. Which was a big fucking deal because Zach never looked disheveled. When they’d gotten off the plane today, he’d been the only one walking through their airport looking like he had just arrived for his flight instead of leaving it, and that had been with a hangover.
