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I don't know what that wink means, exactly, but I hope it's something good. I debate on texting something else, tapping my phone on the bar, but I decide to let it go. I spend most of the time in the back with the new brew. It’s almost ready and smells fucking amazing. Time slips by slowly and when Renee gets to the bar, she gives me a quick smile. It doesn't hide the look in her eyes. It's the same way she looked the night I followed her to the back room. Something's not right.
I only take half a second to decide, and then I go to the back room after her.
Renee's already changed by the time I get there. It makes me think she knew I'd follow her, because she turns around as soon as I step through the door with a forced smile on her face.
“Hey.” I smile back at her because I can't help myself. “Everything going okay?”
“Of course it is.” Renee's smile drops, but only for a split second, and then it's back in place, never once reaching her eyes. “Is everything okay with you? You seem worried.”
I'm worried about her, but it's crossing a line to insist that she tell me what's bothering her. “Everything's great with me. If you need anything, you'll tell me, right?” I try to stress it to her, because she’s honestly freaking me out with this back and forth and I don’t know what else to do.
Renee takes a breath. “I could do that, yeah.”
I brace for her to add something about pretending that I'm the kind of guy she can call in a pinch or pretending that we're together and not just pretend dating, but Renee just nods.
She corrects herself. “I’ll do that I mean. If I need anything, you’ll be the first person I ask,” she reassures me and then offers a small smile. This one seems more like her. More like everything really is okay.
I take a steadying breath. “Good,” I tell her and then add, “I don’t mean to…”
“No, I know. I’m just a little off with some stuff on my mind,” she says and then waves her hand. “Nothing for you to worry about.”
“You’re sure?”
“Stop,” she says with a playful smile. “You make me smile.” Propping herself up on her tiptoes she kisses me right then and there and it’s unexpected. When she sees it gets to me, she does it again and I love it. Small pecks of reassurance.
“You make me smile too,” I tell her and then I have to get out of here, because if I stand in the back room for another second I'm going to close the door behind me, lean her up against it, and kiss her until she begs me to take her to my place.
Even though it’s a Monday, it’s busy. People are amped up for the holidays and having relatives in town, so there are a few louder tables with groups who are catching up after a few months apart. I don't have much time to watch Renee, much less talk to her. She lights up all her tables, as usual. I catch her eye across the bar a few times, and every time it happens, she smiles at me.
It's a small, private smile, and it reminds me of last night. Somehow, last night feels like it was a year ago or more, and I've been wondering about her ever since. The pull between us is stronger than ever. If I can get a spare minute, I'm going to take her aside in the break room and ask her if we can talk after I close. Even if all I can do is kiss her, that'll be more than enough.
Knowing I have a plan makes it easier to get through the rest of the shift. I'm dead set on making sure she knows I'm here for her, and that everything's more than okay. I know how Renee melts into me when we kiss and how quickly it can go from innocent to hot. It's purely about making sure she's okay. Whatever this is on her mind seems like it’s more serious than she’s letting on.
About an hour before closing, she comes over to talk to Patty at the opposite end of the bar. By then, all her tables are mostly closed out, just finishing the last of their drinks. Patty nods at her and reaches out to pat her shoulder, and I'm distracted by a customer at the bar needing a drink, and by the time everything is said and done, Renee's nowhere to be seen.
“I let her head out early,” Patty says when she catches me looking around. “Said she had a few things to do tomorrow, needed the rest.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Hope that's okay with you.” Patty frowns at me. I'm usually the one who lets people off early if I'm working at the bar. “I didn't mean to step on your toes. I'm sorry if I did.”
“No, no,” I’m quick to reassure her. “Patty, that's fine. I'm good.” I smile at her, big as I can, and keep that attitude with me until it's time to close.
I don't hear from Renee that night, and I don't expect to. If she has things to do in the morning she'll be in bed. But damn if I don't want to drive over to her place. It just doesn’t feel right, and I play back that moment in the back over and over rather than sleeping.
The next day, it's me and Brody behind the bar, getting things ready for the day, both of us tired from the women in our lives keeping us up at night. His exhaustion is warranted…mine is not. We work in relative silence although he does ask me how Renee is doing.
I keep it light and say it’s all good even though it doesn’t feel like it is.
I texted Renee after I worked out but didn't hear anything back. When I have things set up for the first customers, I send her another message.
Griffin: Hey little tease…I’m missing your smiles today.
I'm almost sure that will get an answer out of her, maybe even a laugh, but my phone doesn't go off. Fuck, I can’t shake this feeling and I don’t know why.
Brody makes small talk and for once I just can’t focus on anything, not even the damn weather.
My fingers itch to text her again, but I don't let myself take my phone out of my pocket. I'm not going to be the kind of guy who bothers her because she didn't answer two text messages.
