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It’s so fucking obvious how much I’ve fucked up. My hands go numb and it’s harder to go about the night, but I keep it moving and do my job.
Mary Sue comes in after a while and works a half shift. Patty's behind the bar, chatting people up and learning all the town gossip. It slows down for a while as the evening gets later, then gets busy again for a solid few hours. I've been up so late the last couple of nights that I feel almost wired by the time it hits midnight. People start to head out. Patty goes home.
There's a weird lull at one thirty when there's nobody in the bar, but we don't close for another ninety minutes. That's when I decide to take my break. I wash my hands in the bathroom and check my makeup, then go into the break room to catch my breath. And to not think. It's harder than I thought; I’m beginning to spiral. I'm overheating in my uniform and my heart is still aching and I wish I could be two places at once for Christmas and I feel bad for my mom and like I'll never make it up to her, and I can't stand it. But that’s what he wants right? For me to go to Christmas dinner. And if I could just do that maybe he’d stop looking at me like that.
My name on his lips startles the hell out of me.
“Renee.” With my hand on my chest in shock, Griffin stands in the doorway to the break room, looking handsome and worried and like a dream come true. “Do you want to pretend you're okay?”
It takes me a second to even register what he said. I blink at him, shocked, because that's exactly what I want to do. I want to pretend I'm okay until nothing bothers me anymore and all this is done and over with and I made it out just fine. Better than fine. I want to make it out with him still wanting me.
“Yes,” I say breathlessly. “Do you want to pretend you're not my boss?”
“Hell yes, I do.” Griffin kicks the door shut and comes toward me so fast that I barely get my chin tipped up before he gets there. His hands are all over me in a second, and his mouth is on mine. I get my fingers in his hair and feel him move against me.
Yes. Please. Please just love me right now.
The guilt I’ve felt all day slides away when he kisses me deeper. I’ve never felt so wanted. I kiss him back with everything that I have. Every ounce of gratitude and love. Love. Fuck, I know it’s love.
My heart races and my blood heats. There’s nobody out in the bar right now, but there are guys in the kitchen, and we can’t get caught. Somebody has to be out there, but for the first time I don’t care. I just want him to pretend to love me and pretend that everything is just fine.
“Please,” I whimper and I don’t have to say it. He just knows.
Griffin backs me up to a table at the side of the break room and perches me on it. He pushes up my uniform and undoes my pants and helps me kick them off. His hand runs between my legs. All it takes is one touch to light the desire. He pulls the cloth aside and moves his hips, getting closer. I spread my thighs for him and hold onto his waist while he undoes his zipper.
With lust filling every crevice of my mind, I give him every bit of me. Desperate to love him the best I can.
Griffin puts one hand on the back of my neck and uses the other to line himself up, keeping my panties out of the way with the head of his cock. He pushes into me with ease, and I can’t close my eyes. My bottom lip drops, and I can barely breathe as he fucks me like he wants to. However he wants to. He can have me, all of me, like this.
Griffin kisses the side of my neck while he stretches me, holding me in place with one hand on my ass and the other under my knee. I grab on to his shirt and push myself onto him.
“You feel so fucking good,” he groans in the crook of my neck. “My little tease,” he murmurs as he fucks me harder and deeper.
For a few seconds I can't say anything because he found the perfect angle for me to get some contact on my clit. I writhe against him, heat growing between my legs, and chase the feeling of pleasure that will make it impossible to think at all. Griffin's breath hitches and I love that sound so I keep doing it.
What we're doing is so dangerous and risky that it feels like being drunk. We could get caught any second and maybe that's what makes me come, my release hitting me suddenly.
“Renee,” Griffin gasps, and then he picks up the pace even more. He feels even harder moving inside me, his cock twitching, and he curses under his breath. Then he pushes in deep, his hips grinding, and I feel him come. The sensation is my undoing.
I kiss him hard when he does. The way we're moving suddenly seems loud in the break room. My heartbeats remind me that we could both get in huge trouble for fucking at work, but I’m so relaxed in a way they haven't for days.
And overwhelmed with something else. Something I can’t name. Something that feels just as delicate.
“How do you do that?” I whisper the question. Like it’s a secret and I’m not sure I should tell him.
“What do I do?” Griffin breathes against my neck, planting small kisses there. “What did you mean?”
“You make me forget,” I tell him.
Griffin takes my face in his hands and tips my head back. “Tell me everything you needed to forget,” he says softly. “Whatever it is, you shouldn't have to deal with it alone.”
All the good feelings from the sex melt away.
“I'm fine,” I tell him firmly. “That wasn't pretend. I'm okay. And I said I don't want to talk about it.”
Griffin's face falls and the gravity of it all comes back too soon. “Renee, I can tell?—”
“You don't know what you're talking about,” I say, feeling tears brimming and I can’t even pinpoint why. Why is it spiraling? Can’t we just go back?
