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“There's no way I'm leaving you here alone. I can't leave. Not after that.” She has to understand that, at least. It doesn't matter that we've been sleeping together and pretending. I would stay for any of the people who work for me. I would stay for my friends. I would stay for a person I cared about or someone who just needed my help. Fuck, I would stay for a fucking stranger after that shit.
Leaving her here like this would kill me.
“Get out,” she repeats. “I can’t have you here right now. Leave.”
Renee takes a step toward me, then another, ushering me to the door.
“I’m asking you to leave.” I shove my feet into my shoes.
Renee goes ahead of me and jerks the door open, breathing hard as I go past her.
“I—”
She shuts the door in my face. I can hear her getting her locks back in place, and then I can hear her walk away from the door. A minute later, water starts to run somewhere inside her apartment.
I sit down and lean my back against the door. It's four in the morning, but I can’t leave. I can’t do nothing. I don’t know what the hell to do, but nothing is right here, and I can’t let her go through this on her own.
All I can think though is, What the fuck was that?
Renee
Every time she leaves him, it's like opening up an old wound. I’m grateful this time I got to the deadbolt in time. It never lasts that long. He doesn’t risk more than a few minutes of terrorizing me. But it lasts so fucking long after he’s gone.
I hate him. I will always hate him. But even knowing that, I don’t know what to do with the anger and the pain.
I wonder if he thought my mom was here like she was last time. He doesn’t go to my aunt’s. I think he knows better than that. I wish he’d give up on coming here.
Even worse than that, I wish Griffin hadn’t been here. I wish he hadn’t seen it. I wish he didn’t see me at that moment.
I text my aunt, not my mom. It’s so late though I’m not surprised that she doesn’t answer. Pulling my pillow tight, I try to sleep.
I'm sure I won't fall asleep, but I'm so tired that I do. Thankfully I don’t dream, but when my alarm goes off, it doesn't feel like I’ve slept at all. I have a terrible headache and I want to spend the rest of the day hiding under the covers.
I'm pretty sure I won't be able to fall asleep again because my thoughts won’t stop racing.
I drag myself out of bed, strip my sheets, and throw them into the washer. A quick shower fixes the mess that's my hair, and I take my time drying it. I force myself to eat some toast. I'm feeling a little more human by the time I have something in my stomach, and I switch the sheets to the dryer and get dressed. It's still so early that I have time to do a lap around my apartment while the dryer runs. I fold the blanket and put it over the back of my couch and wipe down the counters and tell myself that it’s all right. He’ll stop. He’ll move on and leave me alone.
I hope she really leaves him though. I hope it really ends. I check my phone and my aunt still hasn’t seen the message.
The last thing on my list is to make my bed with the clean sheets. Everything's neat and tidy when I put my coat on and grab my purse.
With a hint of fear, I check the peephole first, he’s not there. I flip the locks and pull the door open trying to figure out how I’m going to talk to Griffin today.
A man falls into my apartment and onto my feet as the door flies open.
“Fuck,” Griffin groans.
I'd jump backward, but he landed on my feet. I gasp at the feeling of his weight on the toes of my boots, and Griffin's blinking up at me from the floor. An absolute wreck with stubble along his jaw and darkness under his eyes. He's obviously been asleep.
Against the door. Oh my God. He slept against my door. My heart falls in a different kind of pain at the sight of him in last night’s clothes. Rumpled and looking like he’s slept even worse than I did.
“Griffin?” I say in disbelief.
“Sorry,” he says as he gathers himself. Seeming to wake up right this moment. He pulls himself up by the doorframe and stands up, brushing at his pants. “The floor's pretty hard out here, but I must have nodded off.”
My heart stops and I can’t believe he’s standing in front of me.
“Nodded off? Have you been sitting here all night?”
