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That's enough to get my head on straight and get back to work. I took this job because I need the money. And that’s what this is. A job.
Both of my tables need their drinks refreshed, so I zip around with two Diet Cokes and a beer. The guy at table two wants more fried pickles. The lady he's with debates dessert, so I tell her the brownie is my favorite, because it really is. The trips back and forth to the kitchen window take my mind off Griffin for a few seconds at a time. I can't help looking at him every time I turn around, though.
He shows his mom around the bar and her eyes light up with pride. He's taller than she is, and she's wide-eyed and in awe, giving everything a once-over like Griffin made it by hand. It’s sweet and genuine. He must be so happy to make her proud.
I know he installed most of the booths himself, and he and Brody both worked on refinishing the floor and sanding down the bar, which was probably a huge time-sink. So it makes sense that she'd understand what a huge accomplishment this place is. Heck, even I’m in awe of what Griffin can do.
A blush flares in my cheeks as my thoughts wander and I have to force myself to look away and get back to work.
Griffin takes her around by the booths, pointing down the row and then back up at the front window. He keeps his voice low enough that I can't hear what he's saying, but that's good, because I don't want to eavesdrop on his conversation with his mother.
But then he laughs and gestures out the window. “Yeah, we had everybody in here. Too many people for the fire code, and I had to get a special license to sell drinks on the sidewalk and put up a barrier.”
His mother’s smile widens, and I remember that night and smile to myself about it. Griffin seemed surprised that everybody wanted to watch the game and celebrate at Iron Brewery, but it didn't surprise me. It's the kind of place that's comfortable, and people know it well. Hopefully next time he won't have to put up cones on the sidewalk.
Or maybe, if the weather's nice, he could extend the space out back.
The tables in the middle seem to lead straight to Griffin and his mom, and they're not all full, so I almost can't help looking.
Griffin's mom laughs at his story and it’s then I realize I don’t know her name. It's so obvious that she loves him. I know from working together that he grew up in a small town that's a couple hours down the highway. I think most people end up back where they started, so it's a really lucky break that Griffin and Brody ended up here.
Shoot. I find myself staring again. I quickly look away and glance at anything and everything else.
I put the crush out of my mind as much as I can. Some days, I can go an hour without thinking I have a crush on my boss and other days, like this one, I can't make it fifteen minutes.
Griffin turns toward the bar, and I get on the move again and wipe down some of the free tables just to make sure they're up to snuff. Patty comes out from behind the bar, and Griffin introduces his mom to her. She shakes Patty's hand and has another wide smile, as if to say, look what my son did, isn't it incredible? It's so sweet that I get flutters again and wipe down a few more tables to burn off the energy.
One more drink refill—another Diet Coke—and I go to ring up the first of the tables to finish. They hand over a credit card right away, so I cash them out and wish them a pleasant afternoon.
On the way back to the bar, I catch Griffin gesturing at me out of the corner of my eye and my heart starts pounding. I put on my best meeting-Griffin's-mom smile and head over to them. Patty's back behind the bar pouring some beers, so it's just me, and I'm more nervous than I was at my first interview.
“Hi,” I say, even though Griffin's been here for almost my whole shift.
Griffin opens his mouth.
“You must be Renee!” His mom says and holds out her hand.
“I am.” I shake hands with her, my face hot. I don't know what to do other than smile, because I'm holding back the question of how she knew that.
I get my answer when I peek over at Griffin, and he's blushing.
My temperature rises again, all through my body. It's a good thing opening the door let in some fresh air, because I might be glowing with sweat by now, and nobody needs that.
It's more complicated than me having a crush on Griffin. He has a crush on me, too, or at least I’ve always thought that he did. The blushing in front of his mom is proof. I'm not the only one dealing with feelings every shift, no matter how hard I try not to let it affect my work.
I've caught Griffin looking at me more than once, which makes me feel those butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I try not to feel his eyes on me when I'm working. It's never in a way I don't want, and always makes this push and pull seem almost romantic and magical.
Neither of us has made a move, which is the right thing to do given our circumstances and everything going on in my personal life.
Besides being the right thing, it's just something I'm grateful for. Some days I'm so grateful for it that I get choked up.
The truth is that I need this job more than I've needed almost any job in my lifetime. After everything that happened, I'm behind on my bills, and that means working twice as hard to get caught up and in a stable place again. My goal this year is to trust only myself and get back on my own two feet. That's my only goal. It's not to fall in love with my boss or act on my crush and get myself into another situation where I'm behind.
I can't afford to have things at this job go sour.
“How do you like it at Iron Brewery, Renee?” Griffin's mom asks with the same proud expression.
“Oh, I love it here.” I keep my eyes away from Griffin when I say it. “It's nice to work in a place that means something to people.”
