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“Actually”—I smooth her hair back—“you don’t have to say that, and you don’t have to do anything.”
“Griffin?” she says.
“Yeah?”
“I’m scared.”
“You can be scared, but you don’t have to be. I’m here. I’ve got you.” I promise her. And I mean it.
I fucking love this woman. I love her so damn much.
And she loves me. That’s all that matters right now. Everything else, time will heal.
Epilogue
Renee
One Year Later
* * *
I’ll never forget what Griffin said when I asked: Why did you have to find me when I was falling apart?
After all this time, I keep going back to that very moment when it felt like everything was coming undone and I looked at him in that backroom and all I wanted was for him to kiss me. Like that would make it all better. And…in a way, it did. I wish I wasn’t at my lowest. For so long I thought, if only I’d went for it sooner and kissed him first when life wasn’t so rough with my family. But that’s not how life works.
He said, “Maybe fate knew I was supposed to be there to catch you.”
Last December lit my world on fire. It burned so much to the ground, but it brought light to so much more. The best of it all is that I fell for Griffin hard and fast, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
"Can you believe it?" My aunt says, interrupting my thoughts. "This is the second year in a row we're having a white Christmas.” Her tone is upbeat and I’m starting to get used to that sound.
It's Christmas at Griffin's parents' house, and of course everyone's talking about the weather. In this town snow is just as uncommon as in Beaufort, and nobody can believe what good luck we're having. Snow on the ground at Christmas. I've heard multiple people say they hired photographers to get pictures out in the snow with their whole family wearing matching sweaters and hats. It makes me smile just to think about it. Sheer joy at the simple things.
"What are we missing?" Griffin's dad says. He stands at the head of the table, looking over all the food. "Oh! Potatoes."
"Did Mom make both kinds?" Griffin questions, his expression serious, which only makes his dad laugh harder.
His mom makes a face at him. "Of course I did. I made all of your favorites."
Within two minutes, the potatoes are out on the table, and the dishes clack as we pass them around to each other in the grand dining room at Griffin's parents' house. His mom laughed when she showed my mom and aunt around when they arrived for Christmas. It's too big for the two of us, but now we have an excuse to use it again! I’ve been here more times than I can count. Griffin is close to his family and I love it. I love being a part of his family and I love that he’s a part of mine.
I don’t know how I could have survived this year without him.
It feels so surreal in this moment. Imagining where we were just a year ago. His mom is genuinely thrilled about being able to eat in the dining room, and I can see why. It has beautiful bay windows that look out over the front yard and a dark wood credenza to store the serving dishes, and everything about it feels warm and homey. It doesn't have a fireplace, but it feels like it could.
Honestly, it feels like something out of a movie, or a book about the perfect Christmas. I keep catching myself smiling at the smallest of things. It's like my life could be a dream. Although it doesn't feel like I'll wake up. It feels real.
How did I get so lucky that this is my life? How did I get lucky enough for a man like Griffin to come to my hometown, see me at my worse and still love me? We went public, so to speak, the very week after he found out everything. I didn’t have much of a choice, to be fair. Griffin said he’d fix it and asked me to simply let him.
So I did. And I haven’t seen my father since, although I know he works two states over now.
I don't know what, exactly, Robert did, but I know he was involved. Same with Griffin’s father, who smiles so politely and has the most contagious laugh. Word around town was that I started dating Griffin, Griffin found something out and poof my father was stationed states away and there was a protective order granted for my mother.
I’m not sure that’s exactly how it happened. and I’ve never wanted to ask about the details. All I know is that my mother is safe, I’m safe, and the last year of my life has been transformative. Therapy helps with that too.
It’s not to say there weren’t bumps in the road. I still have my moments, even though I’ve forgiven myself for so many things that were so hard to let go of. I’m working through a lot with my mother too; she wants us to be in a better place after everything happened the year before and I want that too. I love her and she loves me and life dealt us both a less than easy hand.
There was a lot of paperwork for my mother and way too many meetings at the lawyer's office. I didn't go to all of them, because my mom suddenly had twice the support she usually does, but it all worked out. Knowing he’s gone makes coping through a lot of difficult memories much easier and more manageable.
