Page 50 of This is How I Lied


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Nola steps back and folds her arms across her chest and looks down at me waiting for an explanation.

“My brother called me. My dad was missing. We came over here and heard a crash. My dad was here. Inside. We got him out quickly, but...” Nola is unmoved by my explanation. “And I thought you might be up here. I didn’t want you to be scared.” This part is a lie but I couldn’t bring myself to tell Nola that I was wandering around her home out of morbid curiosity.

I sidle past Nola and move to Eve’s small bookshelf. “I remember when she got that shelf,” I say. “She wanted to decoupage it with pictures from old magazines. We cut out pictures and words for hours...” Nola has a cold, unreadable expression on her face. I need to get out of here, now.

“I obviously should have just left and called you from outside,” I say contritely.

“Maggie,” Nola says in a singsong voice. “Are you in here?”

“What?” I ask in confusion but Nola keeps talking.

“I want to be alone,” Nola cries. Her face remains smooth, dispassionate, but her voice cracks with emotion and her eyes are wild and filled with a crazy glint.

“Are you okay?” I ask but she doesn’t respond. “I’ll go,” I say, inching toward the door, eager to get out of the house, but Nola blocks my way.

“Maggie,” Nola says as if confused. “What are you doing here? Did you leave the kids all alone?” Her voice has taken on a different quality, one I haven’t heard in decades. She sounds just like Eve.

“Let me pass, Nola,” I say. She’s lost her mind. I never should have come here.

“He’ll probably never talk to me again,” Nola says, her voice heavy with tears. “Why did you have to come over? You can’t tell anyone. You have to promise me.”

“Nola, you’re not making any sense. Let’s go outside. Get some fresh air, talk about this.” Even if I get past Nola I have to maneuver my way through the maze of junk. I’m pregnant and slow, there’s no way.

“Because it’s wrong. I want to help you,” Nola says in Eve’s voice. “It’s going to be okay, Maggie, we can work this out together.”

Then her tone changes again, becomes venomous. “It’s not okay and I don’t want to work it out. Eve, I’m pregnant. I need to figure out how to tell him,” she pretends to sob. “You ruined it. You ruined everything. I hate you for this, Eve. I hate you.”

Realization begins to sweep over me. I’ve heard this conversation before. I was part of this conversation. The baby gives a sudden kick as if prodding me forward. I have to get out of this room, out of this house. I feign moving left in hopes that Nola will shift that way and I can run past her but she stays put. I can’t catch my breath and tiny pricks of light dance in front of my eyes. I sway on my feet and sink down on the edge of Eve’s bed.

Nola glowers down at me. “I saw you and Eve at the caves that day. I know what you did to her, Maggie. I saw everything and heard everything. I was there.”

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