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“I saw the cars. Figured there was a group meeting. Do you have a moment? Could we talk privately?” He looked from me to Andy. Andy was frowning, not happy. I figured it was because Wright had come in without knocking. It wasn’t until we were in the kitchen and Andy closed the door behind us that it suddenly occurred to me that Wright might have come with bad news. I held on to the back of one of the chairs.
“Have you found her?”
“I’m afraid not.”
I let out a breath and closed my eyes.
“We’re getting up a search,” Andy said, firmly. “First thing tomorrow morning we’re going to the Jordans’ place, and we’re searching those hiking trails.”
“You got their permission,” Wright said.
“We did,” Andy said.
“They couldn’t say no, not when you asked them through the media.” He was looking at me, with something that might have been approval.
“Jamie Jordan says they’ll join the search. Simon included.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“I don’t want him there.”
“I think it’s better if he comes,” Matthew said.
“Why?”
He hesitated. It was obvious that he didn’t want to answer me. After a moment I figured it out for myself.
“It’s because you think he might find her, isn’t it?”
“No. It’s because if they spent the last week hiking together in the area, he’ll have a better idea than anyone else about where she might have gone if she went back out alone.”
“That’s not the only reason though, is it? You think if he hurt her, if he... killed her, he might just go out with the search party and ‘discover’ her.” Where had I come across that idea? It felt like something I’d seen in a TV show, the idea that killers sometimes come back. That they can’t leave things alone. It surprised me that I was able to ask the question without choking on my words.
“I don’t think that.” His voice was low and firm, and I couldn’t tell whether he was lying to reassure me or telling the truth. “Right now we don’t have any evidence that Nina has been hurt by anyone, okay? It’s only been a few days. She could turn up here tomorrow.”
“Most missing people show up within the first forty-eight hours, right? We’re already past that point.”
“It’s better to stay off the internet. I know it’s not easy, but searching for information about missing persons, looking up statistics and trying to apply them to your situation, that’s not going to be helpful. Every situation is different.”
The coffee cups and plate from our lunch were still sitting on the kitchen table. I picked them up and took them to the sink. Andy sat on the end of the bench. His hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles had whitened.
“You said you wanted to build trust with us,” I said. “You said that was important.”
“Yes.”
“Trust doesn’t just go one way. If you want us to believe in you, you have to trust us too. I’m telling you that Simon Jordan’s story doesn’t make sense. There’s something he’s not telling you.”
There was a long pause. Then he said, “I know.”
I turned to look at him. He held my gaze. He seemed different from the man who’d lectured me in the interview room at the police station. There was something in his eyes.
“Something’s changed,” Andy said, suddenly. “What did you find out?”
“Nothing’s changed.”
I was sure he was lying. I don’t know why, because he had a rocksolid poker face. There was nothing in his face to give him away, and nothing in his body language, but I was certain he wasn’t telling us something. I tried to push him. He was polite, but he slid away from my questions easily and left a few minutes later, after first promising to help with the search. I watched him go, and my body felt like it was just one ache, in need of answers. I thought it might help if I could cry, but the tears seemed a long way away. For a while, shame kept me sitting there at the kitchen table. This was my fault. This disappearance hadn’t come out of nowhere. Something, something must have been going on in Nina’s life that I had missed. She’d called me and I hadn’t taken her calls, hadn’t bothered to call her back, for the stupidest, stupidest reasons. Andy waited with me until I could pull myself together, and then we went back to the living room, where the plans for the next day’s search, and for Nina’s campaign, had advanced.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
