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He didn’t say anything.
“Are you coming?” I asked.
“I have work to do here,” he said.
ALICE STAYED BEHIND TO greet and organize late arrivals. I went out with Andy, Grace, and the Bradleys. We planned to hike the first couple of miles together until we got farther out, and possibly break into subgroups to tackle separate side routes. Everyone knew what they were doing in the backcountry, and we made good time, though the trails were not in good condition. It must have been years since anyone cleared them. Once we got off the main trail, the trails deteriorated until they weren’t much more than animal tracks. Very quickly I lost whatever small hope I’d had that we might find Nina. The undergrowth was thick and seemed undisturbed. More than once we broke through spiderwebs that seemed like they must have been untouched for weeks. We saw no footprints but our own. We’d deliberately chosen a route that would lead us to a small lake that was marked on the map, a route that Nina and Simon had not previously taken, but that might be attractive to her. After a couple of hours, I stopped.
“Should we go back?” I said. “I don’t think she came this way.”
Julie looked at the map on her phone and considered. “Maybe. If we go back, there’s a shorter route closer to the house that Simon and Nina walked before. If she was going out by herself, maybe she’d choose a route she already knew. Something she felt confident she could do in a half day.”
“None of the other groups chose that route?” Andy asked.
Julie shook her head. “Everyone’s pinned the routes they chose. There’s no pin on that one.”
We started back down the trail. By lunchtime we were effectively back where we had started, on the main trail. Our phones had service again, but there were no messages from any of the other searchers. We sat on a couple of downed logs and ate the food we had brought. Grace didn’t eat much. She was very pale. Isaac tried to get her to talk. He asked her about her horse and about school and teachers he’d once had that she had now, but she answered him in monosyllables, and after a while he left her to her thoughts. I could see that she was fighting back tears. We finished our food and set off on the new route. I walked beside Grace at the back of the group. I took her hand in mine and held it tight.
“I love you, bunny.”
She nodded and wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve. She kept her eyes on the ground ahead, lifted her chin, and picked up her pace. This time we could see that someone had hiked the route recently, but other than disturbed undergrowth and a few broken twigs, we found nothing. We turned back.
“We need to call for her,” said Grace.
At the beginning of the day we’d taken turns calling Nina’s name regularly, but now we walked almost in silence. A sense of hopelessness was settling over all of us. Grace called her sister’s name. Her voice cracked on the first attempt, but she cleared her throat and tried again.
“Nina!”
Andy and Grace took the lead. They took turns calling out Nina’s name into the silent trees that surrounded us. Julie and Isaac Bradley fell back a little. In between the calls of Nina’s name, I overheard snatches of quiet conversation. I dropped back to walk with them. Isaac had been showing Julie something on his phone, but when he saw me, he flushed and shoved his phone into his back pocket.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
I looked at Julie. She didn’t exactly avoid my gaze, but she glanced at me and then her eyes slid away. Something wasn’t right.
“Julie?” I said.
“It’s nothing,” she said.
I raised an eyebrow at Isaac. He was still flushed and obviously uncomfortable. He looked to check where Grace was and lowered his voice.
“Sorry,” he said. “It’s just, my friend Sally Ann’s mom came to help with the search today. Did you see her, earlier? She had a dog with her. A German shepherd.”
I shook my head. I’d been aware of other people milling about, had recognized a few faces, but most of my focus and attention had been on the Jordans.
“Well, it’s just that the dog—her name’s Trudy—she used to work for search and rescue. Sally Ann’s mom brought her along in case she could help out.”
“That’s good,” I said. “A dog would be really useful.”
“Yep,” Isaac said, but his flush didn’t fade. It occurred to me that the dog would need something with Nina’s scent if it was going to try to find her. No one had asked me for anything.
“What aren’t you telling me, Isaac?”
Isaac threw a desperate glance in Julie’s direction. Julie was the one who explained.
“The dog—Trudy. She did work for search and rescue, but she was... she was a cadaver dog. She searched for human remains, until she got too old. And Sally Ann just messaged Isaac. She says that earlier today her mom was out searching on a trail and Trudy alerted like crazy. They didn’t find anything. I mean, they didn’t find a body. So maybe it’s nothing. Trudy’s old now. She’s retired. And Sally Ann’s mom isn’t a professional dog handler or anything. Trudy could have been confused or maybe someone had butchered a deer or something.”
I nodded at Isaac and Julie as if I was just fine, as if what Julie had just told me hadn’t made me feel suddenly sick or made sweat break out on my forehead and lower back. I kept walking. I couldn’t be sick here, in front of everyone. In front of Grace. I concentrated on walking. One foot in front of the other. I counted my steps until I got to one hundred, then started again. I pushed the fear down. It wouldn’t help me.
