AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Dr. Schiller smiled. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“It is, but I love her. Will you tell her I love her and that I’m very, very sorry?”
“I’ll tell her, personally. Bye now.” Then Dr. Schiller quickly backed out of the room before I could hug him again.
Later, I waited at the counter to pay the bill, and a thick white candle was burning at the other end, next to a pastel sign that readplease be respectful. someone is losing their best friend.
My throat thickened. It could have been Mango, it could have been me. It could have been Emily. One day, it was Jesse.
It was over.
I was going to stay sober and get myself out of trouble, or whatever trouble John had gotten me into with the police. I had questions for my brother, but I couldn’t ask him.
I had only one other option, and I had to give it a try.
All I needed was a fast car.
Luckily, I owned one.
Chapter Forty-Five
I had coffee and a Wawa hoagie on the road, so my brain was returning to normal function as I drove into Bay Head, one of the old-money beach towns on the Jersey Shore. I’d been here once for John and Nancy’s engagement party, thrown by her parents at their magnificent waterfront home. I was coming for a very different reason today.
I’d driven with one eye on the rearview mirror, worried I’d be spotted by a cop or whoever was following me before. I was coming today unannounced because I didn’t want to give my sister-in-law the chance to call the cops. It had taken me only two hours to get here, with the sun climbing in a beautiful, cloudless sky.
The road approaching the house was from the back, since its front faced the beach, and it was a large traditional with two wings and white shutters that looked classic with grayish shakes. The lot size was among the biggest on the street, and an American flag flapped over a verdant patch of short lawn in the back.
I parked on the street and got out of the car to the cawing of seagulls. I always associated the beach with beer, cold six-packs from Styrofoam coolers in Wildwood, boozy nights on back decks in Avalon, and party houses in Ventnor with my frat brothers. I pushed thethoughts away. If I was triggered by the Atlantic Ocean, I was in bigger trouble than I thought.
A footpath of wooden slats led to the beach, and I started up the path, spotting Nancy up ahead, sitting at the water’s edge with Connor. I made a beeline for them, passing dune grass planted like hair plugs. The beach was mostly empty, effectively private for the lucky few. Someday I would understand how the American coastline could be bought and sold.
I made my way toward them, and Connor was digging a hole with a bright orange shovel. Nancy was laughing, looking beautiful in a wide-brimmed straw hat and a loose white muslin shirt over a one-piece bathing suit. She had a blue shovel, helping Connor dig, a devoted mother. I gave her credit for that, even though we’d never been close. My brother didn’t deserve either of them.
“Uncle TJ!” Connor spotted me first, scrambling to his feet and running toward me in a way that lifted my heart.
“Vroom, vroom!” I called to him, our motorhead call-and-response.
“Vroom, vroom!” Connor called back, opening his little arms, and I jogged to him, caught him, and swung him in the fresh, salty air.
“Look at you fly!”
“Uncle TJ, I made a hole! It’s so big!”
“Show me!” I carried Connor to Nancy, who turned up the brim of her hat, which shaded a puzzled smile and lips slick with whitish balm.
“TJ, what a surprise.”
“Great to see you.” I set Connor down, stalling until he was out of earshot.
“Mommy, Uncle TJ wants to see what I made!” Connor scampered over to his hole, sloshing with greenish water from a foamy wavelet. “Look, look!”
“Wow, I see, that’s great!” I told him, meaning it. He was so cute,happy and energized at the beach with the big waves crashing behind him. The sea was a perfect greenish blue, churning with seaweed and smelling briny and fresh. The wind off the water rejuvenated me, renewing my sense of purpose.
Nancy handed Connor his orange pail. “Honey, why don’t you rinse this off in the water? But don’t go in.”
“Okay, Mommy!” Connor scurried off with the pail.
Nancy turned to me. “TJ, are you drunk?”
