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I finished my sandwich, thinking it over. I was a decent mechanic, but not licensed. My days of flipping cars were over because that required buying them. The Rolex and Maserati would bring enough to pay rent, food, phone, electric, and cable, but not forever.
Thud.
I flashed on Rigel, hit by the pickup truck. Then a bereft Daniel. My mother’s broken heart. Gabby’s meeting with the corporate wall. The death of Joe Ferguson. The bug under the couch. The tracker in the garage. Did whoever was tracking me realize I had found it? Could they have guessed I found the bug, too?
My mood cycled down. A familiar despair descended, and I could feel it taking hold.
I got up, grabbed my phone and keys, and left the house.
I drove with one eye on the rearview.
•••
“Let’s start with the Serenity Prayer, shall we?” Jake crossed his legs. “ ‘God grant me the serenity to…’ ” he began, and everybody recited together. When we were finished, he looked around the circle. “How are we feeling?”
“Not bad,” Phyllis answered, and everybody chimed in. “Decent.” “Better than last meeting.” “Well, thanks.” “Good.”
“Good. There’s no topic tonight, and I thought we’d share what was on our minds.” Jake smiled, then eyed me. “TJ, would you like to get us started?”
“Okay,” I answered, shamed into it. “My name is TJ and I’m an alcoholic.”
“Hi, TJ.” Everyone turned their attention to me.
“Bottom line, I got fired and I don’t know if I can get another job. Tonight, it got too much for me. I started to feel like I was going to pick up, so I came to a meeting.”
Greg smiled kindly. “Keep coming back, TJ.”
Cheryl clucked. “I’ve been there, TJ. It sucks to get fired. I’m glad you came.”
Antonio met my eye. “You did the right thing, buddy. Nighttimes are tough. They put me on my damnheels.”
“They’re the worst,” added Phyllis. “I think to myself, ‘Onenightat a time.’ So fill us in, TJ. We’re all ears.”
“Well…” I was about to continue when a beefy man entered theroom in a Carhartt coat, baggy jeans, and work boots. I’d never seen him at a meeting, and his dark eyes were glassy on a coarse face framed by black hair and muttonchops. He opened his folding chair with a noisy shake and sat down heavily next to me, smelling of cigarettes.
You’re the loose end.
Jake asked, “TJ, would you like to continue?”
“Uh, yes,” I answered, but suddenly I felt anxious. I wondered if Muttonchops had been working with Rigel. It seemed coincidental, his being here the night after Rigel had been killed. If there was a conspiracy, maybe they would replace Rigel. I hadn’t told Jake that our group had been infiltrated because I didn’t know what to say without getting him involved. Meanwhile everyone was looking at me except Muttonchops, who averted his gaze.
Jake was saying, “TJ? Go ahead, we’re here to—”
“Who are you?” I faced Muttonchops down. “What are you doing here?”
Muttonchops recoiled, blinking. “Uh, well, it’s a meeting, right?”
“You’re not in this group. I never saw you before. What’s your name?”
“TJ?” Jake interrupted. “What’s going on?”
“He’s new. He’s never come before.”
“That doesn’t matter. It’s open. He’s welcome. What’s going on?”
“Jake, there’s a lot you don’t know.” I stood up. “A man named Barry Rigel came to our home group a while ago with Brian, but he was really a killer, stalking me. He was hit by a pickup last night, right in front of me.”
“What?”Jake sat up in his chair, his refined features flushed. Everyone burst into nervous chatter.
