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I wave her away, hoping she's feeling better about it. "I didn't want to worry you all, but I should have let you know about the pregnancy. Why are the girls afraid?"
"They think that when the baby comes, you're not going to want them here anymore."
I sigh. I should have known they were afraid that the baby would make things change. "That's never going to change. I promise you, Fi, I'm never going to push you away or leave you because I have a baby."
"But things will change," she says softly, and I know that it isn't just Hannah and Evie who are worried. Fiona is too.
"They will. You won’t have a good night’s sleep again for a few years. There's going to be another child in the house, one that needs to be fed, changed, and looked after. But my feelings for all of you won't change. I love you all so very much, and I promise that will never change. I will always love you all." I reach for her and pull her into my arms. "Promise you, Fi, you're stuck with me forever. I'm not leaving you."
I'm not our parents. I learned a lot about who I am when they left me to raise their children. But I'm glad I was here to be the one to raise them. The kids are amazing, and watching them thrive is something I truly enjoy. I really do love each and every one of those kids and I wouldn't leave them at all. No fucking way.
"Promise?" she whispers.
I hold her tight, not wanting to let her go. "I promise, Fi, I'm here for you. Whenever you need me, I'll always be at your side."
"I love you, Al," she tells me. "So much. Thank you for looking after us."
I hold her tightly. "I wouldn't have it any other way," I assure her. "I love being here with you and the other kids. We're family, and that's something that's never going to change. You're stuck with me."
She laughs, just as I had expected her to. "You're the best. Have you thought of names for the baby?"
I release her and smile. It's so good to be able to talk with her about it. "Not yet. Honestly, I'm just trying to get through this sickness. Let me guess, you have already chosen some."
She bounces on the seat and claps her hands. "I have. I think I've chosen some really good names."
Ruairi comes into the room with a cup of tea in his hands and passes it to me. "Please drink," he tells me. "I don't want you to end up in the hospital again."
"What he means," Mikey says as he follows in behind Ruairi, "is that he doesn't want to be left with all of us again."
I smile because I have a feeling Mikey's not far off. Ruairi finds it hard to have all four kids together. He's never had to do it, and it's a scary thing to be in charge of four children. It's hard, and I love that he's done it for me while I couldn't.
"So, what's this I hear about names?" Ruairi asks with a grin.
Once again, Fiona bounces on her seat. "Okay, for a boy, I think Emmett is such a cute name. What do you think?"
I smile. I actually really love that name. I think it's for sure a contender. "Love it." I glance around and see that Ruairi and Mikey are nodding in agreement.
"Also, Kennedy?"
No, that doesn't hit the same as Emmett did.
"Okay, so that's no then," she says with a laugh. "What's Preacher's real name?"
Well now, isn't that a question? Hmm, that's something I should really know. "I've no idea. Any other suggestions?"
"Brian, Kane, Casey?"
Kane. Now that's another name I like. "Kane is good. So we have two options for a boy: Kane and Emmett. What about a girl?" I ask her, loving how excited she is.
"Oh, I have some names for a girl too. There's Shannon, Bronagh, Aoibheann, Bláithín, and Sadhbh."
"There are a lot of Irish names on that list, Fi," Mikey says with a laugh. "But I think Sadhbh is good."
I nod. "I agree, Sadhbh or Bronagh."
She claps again, reminding me of a seal. "I can't believe I'm going to be an auntie. I'm so excited. It's going to be so much fun."
I nudge her with my foot. "It will be. Now, it's time for you to go to bed."
