Page 17 of In This Moment


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“You have to say something,” I plead, hating the high-pitched desperation in my tone.

“I don’t know what to say, Brenden.” She frowns.

“What does that mean? You always have something to say.” Shooting back to my feet, I shove my chair under my desk before walking to the other side of the room.

“Okay, well, maybe I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not sure I can offer anything that’ll make you feel better.”

“Care to elaborate?” I prod.

“That really is complicated—too complicated.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “No shit. Want to tell me something I don’t know?”

“Don’t get all huffy with me,” she says, crossing her arms. “As your friend, it’s my job to tell you the truth, and I don’t think getting involved with this woman is a good idea.”

“Christ.” I groan, lifting my hands above my head to grip the doorframe. “I said tell me something I don’t know. Of course it’s a bad idea, but staying away isn’t an option. I’ve already gotten involved. I know how nuts all of this sounds, but I feel drawn to her.”

“That’s a pretty intense thing to feel for someone you just met.”

“Seriously, Ally, you’re like freaking Captain Obvious tonight,” I scoff, shaking my head.

Allison sneers before sticking her tongue out at me in response.

“Why the hell do you think I’m so worked up? I don’t know what to make of all this shit.”

“You know I’d never want to do anything to discourage you from pursuing something real for a change, but I think you need to be careful. It’s important that you try to look at this situation objectively. I mean, you don’t even know what the deal is with her husband, and she has two small kids. If you’re going to continue to pursue her, you need to be sure you’re considering all these things.”

“Don’t you think I have?” I ask, exasperated. “I couldn’t sleep last night from pondering all this bullshit, wondering how I could even consider seeing her again. Hell, I don’t even know what it’d be like to actually date someone—to have a real, honest to god committed relationship. I knew better than to go today. But knowing what you should do and actually doing what’s right are two different things.”

“She isn’t the kind of woman you can simply have fun with and move on from,” Allison says, lowering her voice and averting her eyes to her lap.

“You really don’t think very highly of me, do you?” I chuckle to cover up the sting of hurt, but there’s no humor in my tone.

She meets my stare again, shaking her head. “That’s not true. Behind that playboy exterior of yours, there’s a great man who’s waiting for the right woman to come along. I’m just not so sure this is the right woman.”

Not being interested in serious relationships doesn’t make me a playboy. But Allison is right; getting involved with Lizzy would mean going all in, and I’m not certain that’s something I’m capable of doing. Nor is it something I should do without knowing where she stands with Xander.

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