Page 38 of In This Moment


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I laugh at her condescending tone. Perhaps most people do live with regrets, but after my life nearly slipped through my fingers, I’ve made damn sure not to take a single thing for granted.

“No, I don’t do regrets. I see those types of things as opportunities for growth and learning. And yes, I’m satisfied with my life. You sound doubtful of that possibility, though. What makes you so cynical? Is it me? Or do you feel everyone lives with regrets?”

“I don’t know. Maybe not regrets exactly. It’s human nature to want more in life, to want to be more, no matter what. I mean, I like my job, but it isn’t fulfilling. It isn’t what I’d choose to do with my life, if I had a choice.”

“You do, though. That’s the thing. You have the power to make changes in your life, if you’re brave enough. People believe the things they want aren’t possible. When you get rid of that way of thinking, you can live a happy, fulfilled life. When we limit ourselves, we limit our lives.”

“Well, you’re quite the motivational speaker,” she sneers. “Do you really live that way, though? Going, seeing, and doing as you please is great, but it doesn’t mean you’re living a fulfilling life. What about love? Do you believe you’ll find love?”

Love? Why the hell is she asking me about love? “I think you’re assuming that finding love is something I want or regret not having,” I snip, unsure why her question has me feeling so flustered and agitated.

“Everyone wants and needs love, Brenden. It’s basic human nature.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I neither want nor need love in my life.” There’s more conviction behind my words than I feel. Because I used to believe that. But, I’m not so sure anymore.

“Trust me, having love and giving love to another person changes you and your life for the better.”

I’m not sure which I hate more, the sadness in her voice as she talks about love or having this conversation to begin with. Either way, I think it’s time to call it a night.

“Are you trying to tell me you’re in love with me?” I tease. “Although I think it’s a little fast, I’d totally give this whole love thing a whirl for you.”

“Hilarious,” she huffs. “And no, I’m not.”

“Well, I guess I’ll take my broken heart and go to bed now.”

“Holy crap, it’s almost midnight,” she squeaks. “I should’ve been asleep hours ago. I had no clue how late it’d gotten. I guess being your distraction became a distraction for me too.”

“Glad I could be of service. Any time you need to be serviced, you let me know,” I goad, wishing she were in front of me so I could see her expression.

“Oh lord…I’m hanging up now.”

“What? It’s not my fault you keep turning my innocent statements into something dirty. Perhaps you need to get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Yeah,” she breathes, “perhaps you’re right.”

Fuck. I wasn’t expecting that response. I don’t want our conversation to end now. I want her to go into more detail about this guttered mind of hers.

“So, I’ll see you Saturday for kickboxing?” I say.

“Are you trying to imply I need to work out, friend?”

She knows perfectly well me wanting her to come to kickboxing has nothing to do with that. I’m asking because I need to know when I’ll see her again.

“I’m implying I need to see that sexy behind working out,” I retort.

Her little gasp is followed by complete silence, as if she’s stopped breathing entirely, and it only encourages me to continue.

“I want to see you all hot and sweaty, your shirt clinging to every delicious curve of your body.” I smile in triumph and wait for her reply, struggling to contain my laughter.

“Okay…on that note, I’m going to go,” she says, clearing her throat. “I’ll think about Saturday. Goodnight, Brenden.”

“Goodnight, Lizzy,” I chirp.

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