AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My breath stills. I wasn’t aware she knew anything about Brenden. That’s not a conversation I’m prepared to have with her today.
“Hey, Sean,” Julianna says, getting up from her seat. “Do you want to play trains with me?”
“Yay!” he squeals.
Julianna follows behind him as he runs out of the room, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze on her way.
“How do you know about Brenden, baby?” I ask Maddison as calmly as possibly, even though my heart is beating a mile a minute.
“I heard you and Aunt Julia talking about him. Who is he?” She eyes me, her stare full of curiosity.
“Brenden is a friend of mine.” The knot in my stomach causes my voice to come out strained.
My answer may not be untruthful, but the context behind it was a lie. It implies there’s nothing between us outside of friendship, and my feelings for him go beyond that.
“Do you want him to be your new husband?”
Her question knocks the wind out of me, my eyes widening as I drag in a breath. I’m still trying to figure out if being in a relationship is even possible. There’s so much to consider. Like my kids. It doesn’t seem fair to bring another man into their lives. If our relationship didn’t work out, they would lose someone again.
“Of course not. Why would you—” My voice is jarring, and I pause to take a moment to calm my erratic heart.
“It’s okay if you like him, Momma.”
She takes my hand, and my heart swells with pride. My little girl is so smart and mature; it’s easy to forget how young she is sometimes. Her eyes are bright as she says it, her sweet innocence shining through.
If only things were that simple.
Brenden
“This is Brenden Scott calling from Smyth Elementary about your child,” I pause to look down at the file in front of me, “Jacob.” I’ve made so many of these calls today that all the names are beginning to run together. “If you could, please give me a call back at your earliest convince. Thank you.” I hang up the phone and let out a harsh breath.
Today has been long and stressful, but it’s almost time for the best part of my day—talking to Lizzy. This weekend was amazing, and I’m anxious to keep the ball rolling. Only a few more files to review before I’m done.
Several kids stopped coming to counseling shortly after I took over here, and my boss wants me to reach out to every single one of their parents. She wants verification that their decision had nothing to do with me personally. I’m certainly praying that’s not the case.
I’ve reviewed four out of the eight files so far, speaking mostly to voicemails. If they don’t return my call, I’ll get to do this again in a couple of days. From what I can tell, these kids all had something stressful going on at the time they started coming to counseling but no longer feel they need it. Except for one kid who’d clearly been coming simply to get out of class.
The next file is for Maddison Blake. I’ve only met her once, but she stuck out to me. She’s one of the kids I’d been so nervous about working with. Her file indicated she had some emotional outbursts in class. It was her teacher who suggested counseling, believing Maddison’s issues stemmed from the death of her father. I’d never dealt with a child grieving over the loss of a parent and was terrified to say something wrong. That was one thing I couldn’t relate to.
When I met with her though, she seemed well rounded and happy. I remember being impressed and amused by her large vocabulary and grown-up demeanor. There didn’t seem to be any reason for concern when she didn’t return to my office. Children tend to bounce back quickly.
I flip to the back of her file to retrieve the parent contact info, and my stomach drops.
My eyes screw shut for a few seconds before opening again, my brain not wanting to accept the information in front of me. It can’t be right. It just can’t be. The sound of my heart pounding echoes in my head as I review the file, ensuring all the info is correct.
I pick up my office phone and hit the front desk extension. “Hey, Kendra, can you do me a favor? I need you to verify the contact info for Maddison Blake’s parent.”
My breathing stills as I listen to her type on her computer, the room beginning to spin as she repeats exactly what I have in front of me.
“Thanks.” I hang up the phone, my eyes glued to the file in front of me.
Father: Alexander Blake − deceased.
Mother: Elizabeth Shea
Fuck. This can’t be happening. She never told me Xander died. This explains so much. Like why she hasn’t been able to move on and gets so defensive over him. All this time, I’ve been jealous and worried she was going to go back to him, and she’s been coping with the loss of her husband—the father of her children.
I feel like such an asshole.
My stomach churns with guilt and anxiety as I slam the file closed. I push away from my desk and rest my elbows on my knees, placing my head in my hands.
This isn’t something I can keep from Lizzy. We’re going to have to talk about this, and I’m not sure how she’ll react. Just the thought has me damn near hyperventilating.
Christ, I never told her I was a counselor.
She’ll probably think I’ve been hiding this from her all along. It’ll give her another excuse to push me away. That’s not something I want to go through again.
I need to figure out a way to talk to her about this without upsetting her or setting our relationship back. Losing her is not an option.
