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As if that hadn’t been bad enough, she had plenty to say about my sex life. I believe the word slut was thrown around. I’d seen her overweight husband and told myself it was nothing more than envy on her part. Still, I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t bothered me.
“What do you mean? Like a sex dream?” Lucy’s friend seriously needs to learn how to whisper, but I’m guessing they either don’t realize I’m in here or don’t care.
“Yes, and I feel so guilty about it.”
Very quietly placing my fork down, I bite my lip to keep from laughing. Leave it to a married woman to feel bad about a sex dream.
“Who were you dreaming about?”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember his face. But I swear to god, the way he kissed me, with my hands pinned above my head…it made my heart race.”
Her friend giggles, and I roll my eyes. What is the deal with male domination being romanticized these days? Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with a little red room of pain fun. Ana was also the one in control, not Christian. But I’ve read way too many books lately where women are forced or coerced into a sexual act. The words I would use to describe that would be rape or assault. It’s not sexy or romantic. Believe me, having no control or choice is not a turn on.
“At one point, he did this thing with a cube of ice—”
“Okay…” I come to my feet in such a hurry, my chair makes a loud screeching noise as it runs across the floor. There’s no way I can stomach listening to another second of her fantasy and keep my lunch down. “On that note, I think I’m going to make my exit.”
I gather my trash and deposit it into the waste basket, pausing on my way out the door in front of their table. Lucy’s face is so red, I almost feel sorry for her, but her friend is looking at me as if I violated their privacy on purpose.
“Just a couple quick pieces of advice before I go. First, always make sure the room is empty before you go spilling your dirty little secrets. Also, it sounds to me like your sex life is lacking, Lucy. I’m sure your hubby is feeling the same way and would be more than happy to throw in some slap and tickle if that’s what does it for you.”
Both women stare at me with slacked jaws as I smirk at them. Turning on my heel, I leave the room before either of them has a chance to recover from their shock. Not that they particularly liked me before that exchange, but I’m sure I’ll now be the topic of this month’s book club meeting.
To be fair, that was a totally bitchy thing to do. I think I might’ve even been a little jealous of Lucy and her sex dream. My dry spell has become a full-on drought. You would think with all this built-up sexual tension I’m carrying around I’d be having a sex dream every damn night, but I’m not even getting laid in my dreams.
When I get back to my desk, my cellphone rings and Spencer’s name flashes across the screen. Chewing on my bottom lip, I pick up the phone and squint at the screen as my thumb hovers over the answer button. We’ve interacted a couple times since he and Cat started dating, but those were brief, in passing. He’s good to Cat and she’s happy, so I don’t have any issues with him. Still, I’m not sure how I feel about him calling me. Unless…
“What’s wrong? Is Cat okay?”
I scowl as his laughter sends vibrations through the phone onto my skin.
“She’s fine. I spoke to her a few minutes ago,” he says.
I let out a sigh of relief and relax back in my chair, only to feel my muscles tense right back up as he begins to speak again.
“I was calling to ask you for a favor, actually.”
My mouth opens, ready to shoot off some witty comeback, but it quickly closes as I shift in my chair. I don’t know how to navigate through all of this. As much as I’ve been pretending it’s not weird and doesn’t bother me, it does. All of it. The fact that I’d slept in his arms, been in his house nearly naked with his hands and mouth on me, and most of all, the decision I made not to tell Cat about any of it.
When I don’t respond, he calls out my name, and I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m listening.”
“Well…I want to buy Cat something nice for Christmas and was hoping you would come with me to help pick something out. I hate giving someone a gift they don’t really like or want. Since you know her better than anyone, I thought—”
“Fine,” I say, desperate to end the call. “When?”
“Saturday?”
My pulse races as I wipe my free hand down my slacks, attempting to sort out the thoughts racing through my brain. The idea of hanging out with Spencer alone terrifies me. I mean, I still have the man’s shirt hidden away in my bedroom. Now I’m going to be helping him find the perfect gift for my best friend. This is the definition of fucked up.
“I don’t drive in holiday traffic, it makes me crazy, so I’ll meet you at your house at eleven and you’ll drive.”
He starts to thank me, but I end the call before he can finish. I drop the phone back on my desk and stare at it, my stomach already knotting with nerves. If he’s going to continue to be in Cat’s life, I’ll have to get over my issues, and there’s no time like the present. I suppose I should give his shirt back too.
Spencer
The clock on the wall says it’s one minute ‘til eleven as I pull on my coat and walk over to the living room window to watch for Lori. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling uneasy about hanging out with her today. We haven’t exactly spoken much since last month when I showed up at her office. At that point, I was still clinging to the notion that she was the one I should be with. Since then, I’ve developed real feelings for Cat. Things between us are going great. I think we might have a shot at a future together. For that to happen, though, I need to make things less awkward with Lori.
I’m not entirely sure if it’s on her side or mine. Probably a little of both. At first, it was hard to look at Lori without picturing her in my police academy shirt and thinking about the things that went down between us that morning. The way she avoided looking at me altogether told me she was struggling with that too. Now, for me, it’s the lie that makes me uncomfortable. We should’ve been upfront with Cat in the first place, because telling her now feels wrong. For Lori, I think she’s leery of my intentions with Cat. She needs to see I’m genuine, which is a big part of why I asked her to come with me today.
