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Fuck.
Spencer
My grandmother is settled in her chair, a blanket over her lap and the television remote on the arm. Bending down, I give her a quick kiss on the head. She’ll be eighty in a couple months, and lately, her aging has been painfully obvious. She’s frail and forgetful. I worry about her all the time. I know it wasn’t easy for her taking care of me when I was younger, but now it would seem the tables have turned. Sometimes watching out for her is like having a second job and thinking that way makes me feel like shit.
Gram has been my parent, my grandparent, and my best friend since I was a young boy. I owe her more than I could ever repay her, not that she would ever try to collect.
After my father died, I had to accept my life would never be the same. Then my mother died, and I felt completely misplaced. Everything I’d known was gone—my parents, my home, and even my school. That first night I came here to live with my grandparents, I was desperate to have some stability back in my life. As if knowing exactly what I needed, my grandmother had my room waiting, set up exactly as it had been at my parents’. She’s continued to take care of me in the same manner all these years—always giving me exactly what I need without me even having to ask.
“Okay, Gram, you’re all set up. I should probably get Lori home.”
She grabs my hand and squeezes it as I stand to meet her gaze.
“She’s so beautiful. A real keeper, that one. Don’t you let her slip away.”
I roll my eyes and sigh, but don’t bother to correct her. There’s no point, she knows Lori’s not Cat. She’s met Cat and didn’t like her. At this point I think she’s merely messing with me. Besides, she isn’t totally wrong. Lori is certainly beautiful. Her inner beauty was really shining today, she’s been great with Gram. And if she’d ever let anyone catch her, Lori would be a keeper, but I’ve already lost my chance.
“Sure, Gram.” I smirk. “And you promise me you won’t go traveling around town alone again. You know that’s not safe.”
She waves me off. “You nearly forgot about me last month. I figured it would be easier for me to come to you. Besides, I’m perfectly capable of getting from one side of town to the other.”
I shake my head and bend down to give her another quick kiss before hurrying out the door and back to the truck. Lori gives me a quick tight smile as I climb inside but remains quiet as I begin to drive. I feel the need to fill the silence, but I’m not sure what to say.
When we come to a stoplight, I look at Lori. She’s fidgeting with the hair-tie on her wrist, staring out the window.
“I’m sorry about today. I know my grandmother can be a little much.”
Her head turns toward me, her eyes soft as they land on me and she shakes her head. “Darla is great, I think I might have a new best friend. Don’t tell Cat.” She lets out a nervous laugh.
My eyes narrow as I study Lori, her guard is down, and it oddly makes me feel like I should put my own up. “She told you about my parents, didn’t she?”
She gives me a sheepish grin as someone honks their horn behind us, alerting me the light is green again. I sigh and turn my attention back to the road, putting my foot on the gas.
“Please don’t mention this to Cat.”
“The two of you have been dating for months, and you haven’t told her?”
“She knows my parents died when I was young and I was raised by my grandmother, but she doesn’t know the details. It isn’t something I care to talk about.”
“I won’t tell her. But you’re going to tell her soon, right? I hate keeping stuff from her, we tell each other everything.”
I glance over at her through the corner of my eye. “Not everything.” Her cheeks go red causing me to instantly regret my comment. “It isn’t something that comes up easily in conversation. How does that even go? By the way, my dad was killed when I was a kid. Then my mom lost her mind and died from an accidental overdose.” She presses her lips into a flat line, and I let out a relenting sigh. “I’ll tell her eventually, okay? I’m just not ready.”
We come to a stop again, and she nods as my gaze lands back on her.
“It explains a lot about you,” she says, relaxing back into her seat as she crosses her arms.
The light turns green as I scoff, pulling my attention back to the road. “Oh yeah, like what?”
“Like why you were so concerned about Lizzy when Xander died. I imagine a lot of people in your line of work are almost immune to that kind of stuff, but you stayed with Lizzy and looked out for her. She reminded you of your momma, didn’t she?”
The muscles in my shoulders tense up, but I don’t answer her or even look her way, there’s no need.
“And…what happened to your dad…it’s why you decided to become a cop, right?”
I nod this time, but still can’t bring myself to look at her. “Partly, yes.”
My chest tightens, and I take in a deep breath to fill my lungs with air before blowing it back out. My parents aren’t my favorite topic. You might say I avoid it because I’ve never really dealt with it. But Lori almost opened up to me today, and if I want her to trust me, I need to be willing to do the same with her.
