Page 33 of In the Gray


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He’s the type of person people run to for shelter, and I’m the storm.

Even after everything he went through as a child, he’s the most kind and caring person I know. He wears his open heart on his sleeve, and I let my pain make me closed off and bitter.

“I thought things were going really well for the two of you.”

“They are. Or they were. He’s been a little distant lately, and it feels like something’s off.”

“That reminds me, Spencer did get a strange call from him the other day. His face got all serious then he left the room, but when I asked him what it was about, he said it was nothing.”

Her lips spread across her face into a Cheshire Cat smile. “Well, what I want to know is why you’re spending so much time with Spencer. From what I understand, the two of you have grown quite close.”

“Who on earth did you hear that from?”

“Eric. He said he thinks…well, he thinks maybe Spencer might have feelings for you and you for him. Do you have feelings for Spencer?”

“You do realize Cat is my best friend, right? She’s like a sister to me, and he’s her boyfriend.”

“I know, but that’s not what I asked.”

“You should already know what you’re insinuating isn’t possible.”

“Anything is possible when it comes to love. We don’t always get to choose the direction our hearts lead us. My only comment on the matter would be that the two of you tell Cat the truth before it’s too late.”

“Nothing is going on between us. We’re only friends. There isn’t anything to…” My words trail off as I realize we have been keeping something from Cat. Possibly a couple somethings. The fact that I never told Cat about how I really met Spencer has been weighing on me a little more heavily since he took me to the Red Rose. Perhaps that’s because my feelings for him have become even more distorted. “Actually, there is something I want to tell you, but you have to promise you won’t tell Cat or even Lizzy.”

If Julianna is willing to share her secrets with me, I should be willing to do the same. This may not be the secret I should be sharing, but a crowded airplane is hardly the place for that conversation. It’s a step in the right direction, though.

“I would never share something you didn’t want me to, though I can’t promise I won’t insist you tell her yourself.”

I roll my eyes and shrug. “Fair enough. So, the thing is, I met Spencer before he and Cat started dating.”

Julianna’s eyes go wide, her mouth hanging open for a few moments before she speaks. “You’ve already slept with Spencer?”

I scoff. “No…but it wasn’t from the lack of trying. He wanted me to go out on an actual date with him, though. So, I ran. The next time I saw him, he was dating Cat.”

“Why didn’t you tell her then?”

“I don’t know,” I squeak, my tone defensive. “It was over, there wasn’t much to tell. And she was happy. I didn’t want to ruin that for her.”

“And what about your happiness?”

“What about it? My happiness wasn’t dependent upon Spencer. I’d already given him up. He should be with someone like Cat, not me.”

“I’m not so certain of that. Have you ever considered the possibility that fate brought him into Cat’s life for you? You yourself said you pushed him away when he wanted to get to know you, so the two of you never would’ve become close. It’s the fact that he’s with Cat that’s allowed you to let your guard down with him.”

My head shakes in protest, though I’m allowing my mind to consider what she’s said. If Spencer hadn’t started dating Cat, it’s highly unlikely he would be in my life now. I wouldn’t have such a fondness for him or consider him to be one of my dearest friends. And I can’t deny that I’ve considered what it might be like to be more than his friend. But I could never accept happiness built from the ruins of my best friend’s heart.

“No. Everything is as it should be.”

Spencer

It’s late when my cellphone rings, and I’m surprised to see Lori’s name on the screen. Last I heard, she was going with her sister to Pennsylvania to deal with Julianna’s asshole ex-husband. Information I hated keeping from Eric, but I’d kept his secret from Lori, and it was only fair. Sitting up straighter on the couch, I reach for the remote to turn off the television, and my stomach knots with worry as I slide my thumb across the screen to answer her call.

“Lori, is everything okay?”

She scoffs. “You’re such a worrier. I’m fine, I just…it’s been a long day and I…oh, fuck it. Can you open your damn door?”

“My door?”

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