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As I approach my exit off the highway, I contemplate increasing my speed instead of slowing down, reconsidering my whole you-can’t-escape-your-troubles stance. It would be so much easier to run. If I keep going, I could put some much-needed distance between Spencer and myself. Unless what they say is true and distance really does make the heart grow fonder. Which would be bad.
Being in a new place, far away from Paul Eastman and the people who idolize him, would certainly provide some relief, but it wouldn’t solve anything. So, I ease up on the gas pedal and put my blinker on.
“A book?” Spencer’s voice is full of worry, and I stifle a laugh as I picture him with a furrowed brow and frown on his face.
I thought my answer sounded confident enough, even though I’d only just now decided to write a book about Ashland’s story rather than one simple article for a small county paper. Still, this could be great. Scary as fuck, but awesome at the same time. This could be the story that finally gives me the courage to follow my dream of becoming a published author. Only, telling Ashland’s story would be even better than I dreamed because I’d be doing something meaningful for other women.
“Yes, a book. I think Ashland’s story needs to reach farther than Ruth County. There’s so much people don’t know. Like, did you know he was dating her sister while he was repeatedly sexually assaulting her? Because I haven’t heard one mention of that. People need to know what kind of sick fucker he really was. Not the good guy, loving husband act everyone wants to believe.”
There’s so much I can relate to with Ashland’s story. Everyone believes Paul is this great guy as well. They have no clue the kinds of things he’s capable of. To be fair, if someone would’ve warned me Paul was going to abuse me, I’m not sure I would’ve believed them either. People don’t often see beyond the surface.
Spencer lets out a long exhale. “Even if they know about all that other stuff, it won’t change the fact that she murdered a man. His wrong doesn’t make hers right.”
My eyes roll as I groan. “I’m not saying it’s okay that she murdered him. Though, I can’t say I’m sad he’s dead. I personally think he got what was coming to him after everything Ashland told me today. The only thing that would’ve been better is if he ended up in prison having men do the things to him that he did to Ashland. But that would never have happened because the law doesn’t protect women like her.”
“I know this is really important to you, but—”
“Yes,” I say, cutting him off. I don’t have it in me to go down this road again. “You do know how important it is to me, and you know damn well why too. But now that I know Ashland’s story mirrors mine, I feel like this is something I need to do. It might be the closest I ever come to telling my story. It won’t be easy, but I really think this could be good for me.”
He sighs, and it’s as if I can feel his heavy breath on my skin. “All right. A book it is. What will you call it?”
A smile lights my face as a warmth settles over me, grateful he’s relenting even though he’s worried for me. It’s not all that surprising, though. If I can count on anyone to support my decision, it’s Spencer. Not only because he knows my secret, but that’s simply the kind of man he is.
Humming, I muse over the title for Ashland’s story, then blurt out the first one that comes to mind. “Illusions of Ash.”
He laughs. “Did you come up with that on a whim?”
“Yep.”
“That mind of yours seems like a scary yet beautiful place.”
My face and chest flush, and I go quiet, making things awkward. Just as I do every time he says anything remotely nice or complimentary toward me. Navigating our friendship is a little tricky for me. I trust him more than I do most—maybe even more than I should. But I’ve always felt this odd connection between us. Which isn’t entirely appropriate given he’s dating Cat.
“So, are you on the way to your parents’ house now?”
I let out a whiney sigh. “Yes, unfortunately. It’s the last thing I feel like doing, but Mom has been on me about coming over for dinner for weeks now. I might as well get it over with.”
“All right. Drive safely. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yes, sir, Officer,” I mock.
Spencer
Julianna hands me a bottle of beer, and I nod in thanks. “Where’s Eric?”
She takes a seat on the sofa across from me, and I notice all the subtle changes she’s already made to the apartment since she moved in. There are throw pillows, candles, and even an area rug in the living room now. The changes she’s made in Eric are a little less subtle. He’s like a new man, a better man, a happier man. So, even though I still don’t know Julianna all that well, I’m certain she’s a good person.
“He got held up at the studio, but he should be here shortly,” she says, eyeing the door a little uncomfortably.
Eric and Julianna invited all of us—Lizzy, Brenden, Cat, and me—over for a couples’ night. I showed up a little early, unannounced, hoping to talk to Julianna about Lori’s plans to write a book about Ashland. As much as I want to support her, I’m also very concerned. We haven’t directly discussed the things Lori confided in me last month, but it’s been weighing on me. Especially knowing Ashland’s story is hitting so close to home for her. I’m the only person Lori has ever opened up to about that situation, and I know she still feels very burdened by all of it. I worry writing this story and dealing with all the backlash sure to follow isn’t the best thing for Lori.
“That works out, actually. I was hoping to talk to you about something.”
She nods, tucking her feet underneath herself. “Okay…”
My eyes fall to the arm of the couch as I rub my palm up and down it, trying to organize my thoughts, and my gut churns as I reconsider the topic altogether. After all, it does relate to something awful from Julianna’s past. I take a big swig of my beer, then meet her gaze. “Did Lori tell you she’s planning to make Ashland’s story into a book now?”
Julianna’s cheeks pale a little as she nods her head again. “Yeah, she called me on her way to our parents’ house tonight to tell me the news. She said the story is even more complex than she imagined.”
