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“Does that worry you at all?”
She shrugs, her lips pressing into a thoughtful pout as she shakes her head. “Worry me in what way?”
“I don’t know.” I loosen a long breath. “I mean…a book could bring national attention. I guess I’m anxious about the possibility that people will feel the need to personally attack her.”
She smiles as she relaxes into the couch, her brows knitting as she studies me. “So, you’re worried about Lori?”
“Yes.”
She tilts her head and smirks. “I bet she loves that.”
I chuckle, thinking of all the times she’s told me to take my concern and shove it. “Not so much.”
“Yeah…well, Lori isn’t used to anyone fussing over her the way you do. It’s kind of funny, really. The way I see it, you’re her karmic retribution. She’s always overly protective of the people she loves.” She gives me a pointed look as the word “loves” slowly rolls off her tongue. “It’s about time she had someone looking out for her in the same way. I’m really glad the two of you are friends.” Again, her eyes slightly narrow in on me, her voice fluctuating. I get what she’s trying to insinuate here, and she’s not totally off base. The more Lori lets me in, the more I care for her, the stronger our connection. I’m just not entirely sure what any of that means for my relationship with Lori, or Cat. But I don’t think now is the appropriate time to discuss how I feel or don’t feel about Lori. Anyway, it’s not the point.
I take another big gulp of my beer. “I want to be supportive, but I also don’t want to see her get hurt.”
She gives me a sad smile. “I wish I could tell you your unease is unwarranted, but I’m sure there will be some people upset with Lori for telling Ashland’s story. Jim’s family for one. Still, I believe Lori is capable of handling whatever anyone throws at her.”
Pulling at the hair on my chin now, I smirk. “I’m sure you’re right. Lori is tough as nails. Maybe I should be afraid for anyone who comes at her,” I joke.
The corners of Julianna’s lips turn up, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I think you should tell Lori how you feel.”
“About her writing the book?”
She gives me a knowing smile, one eyebrow raising, and I get the feeling she’s talking about something on a much deeper level. It makes me wonder what, if anything, Lori has told Julianna about our history, and if Lori has been questioning her own feelings as well.
18
Lori
My father’s face colors with frustration, and my stomach knots, wishing I hadn’t even told them how I spent my day. He and I rarely see eye to eye, and it would appear sexual assault is one more thing on a very long list. Most of the time, I can let it go. Nodding my head as I silently recite all the reasons he’s wrong. But not on this topic. Not when I’m feeling so emotionally raw from hearing everything Ashland went through. My wounds are open and bleeding right now. As much as I might want to let it go, I just can’t.
“All I’m saying is it seems like a convenient defense. I mean, the man’s not even here to defend himself because she apparently found it easier to kill him than telling someone what he’d done to her.”
I blink at my father in disbelief, repressed rage heating the blood in my veins. He’s sitting across from me at the small, round, wooden table by the bay window in my parents’ kitchen, his shoulders squared as he holds tight to his small-minded opinion.
“Do you honestly believe, if he were still alive, he’d admit to what he did? She’d still face the same battle of proving herself. Sexual assault is never convenient. The man was a predator. He tormented and tortured her for a year, and the effects of that abuse never faded.”
“So she says.” He shovels another bite in his mouth, continuing as he chews. “There’s no hard evidence to back up her claim. Why didn’t she tell anyone back then? Why wait all these years then decide to kill him?”
Rolling my eyes, I lift my left hand and wave it in the air before slamming it back down on the table. “She didn’t simply decide to kill him. And she didn’t speak up because she was afraid, because she knew she’d have to face people like you. Because somehow, when it comes to sexual assault, it seems society always wants to place the blame back on the victim. As if they haven’t already suffered enough, as if they don’t already hate and doubt themselves to begin with.” I pause as my words become shaky, drawing in a deep breath to calm myself.
“Maybe this isn’t the best dinner conversation,” my mother tries to interject.
Neither of us even bother to look at her before we start up again.
“Tell me this,” my father says, leaning forward as he taps a finger on the table. “If he was the monster she’s painting him to be, why doesn’t anyone else know about it? Why hadn’t anyone ever seen him do any of the things she’s claiming he did?”
Scoffing, I shake my head and drop my fork as I collapse into the back of my chair. He has no clue how ironic this conversation is, no idea his own daughter—his favorite daughter—was one of Jim’s victims. Julianna is still working up the courage to tell our parents what happened to her. I’m so glad she’s not here to witness the things my father is saying, or she might never find the nerve.
“Just because no one else has come forward doesn’t mean there aren’t other victims. Just because someone doesn’t see something doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
“All right,” he says, sitting up straight again. “Can you at least admit it’s possible she’s lying?”
I groan. “And what? Killed him for shits and giggles?”
His eyes bug out of his head the way they do when he thinks I’m being unreasonable, and he heckles. “No…though, people don’t always have a reason for murder. Maybe they had slept together, and she was angry with him.”
