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What is an appropriate amount of time to get over something that completely changed you?
Is it even possible?
Perhaps some wounds aren’t meant to heal, remaining to serve as a reminder of the things we’ve survived.
Those scars are proof of our strengths, not our weaknesses.
At least I like to think so.
Still, when I think of Paul and the things that happened, I feel anything but strong. And then there’s Ashland, her actions reflect how broken Jim left her. I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want Paul to win.
I close out the webpage and reach for the banquet invitation sitting on my desk, tracing over the gold lettering with my finger. It arrived a couple days ago, and I’ve been debating back and forth on what to do. I hate going to these things alone. Normally, I’d drag Cat along with me. But seeing as she still isn’t speaking to me, that isn’t an option.
My heart seizes in my chest at the thought. I can’t stand her being so upset with me. We’ve never fought like this before. I honestly believed she would take a day or two to calm down then call or come by, and we would work everything out. That hasn’t happened. It’s been weeks.
I’ve considered being the bigger person and reaching out to her, but I couldn’t figure out how to even begin the conversation. Do I tell her that I’m sorry for not telling her about Spencer? Because that would be a lie. I did what I thought was best, and given the chance to do it over, I’m not sure I’d do things any differently. Do I tell her that I don’t have feelings for him? That too would be a lie, one that I would surely choke on. Do I promise to never see him again? That isn’t a promise I’m sure I could keep.
Instead, I pick up my phone and dial Levi’s number. I’m not sure how, or when, he became someone I turn to in my times of need, but he’s risen to every occasion.
He answers on the first ring. “What’s up, gorgeous?”
“Do you own a suit?”
He chuckles. “No, can’t say that I do. There isn’t much of a cause for one in my life. Why do you ask?”
“I have this work banquet I’m expected to attend, and I don’t want to go alone.”
“Lori Stevens, are you asking me to prom?” Levi mocks.
“No, asshole. I’m asking you to save me from having to converse with a bunch of pretentious fogies all night.”
“When is this blessed event?”
“On September fifteenth.”
“That’s not much notice, I’m afraid I already have plans.”
“Fuck.”
“You know who you could call, though? Spencer.”
I groan. “We’ve talked about this. You know that isn’t an option.”
“I heard through the grapevine that he called Cat trying to patch things over.”
My heart turns to stone, dropping into my stomach. “What do you mean? He’s trying to win her back?”
He sighs dramatically. “And you call me daft. No, he called trying to explain things to her.”
“Don’t be a jerk,” I sneer. “What happened?”
“She hung up on him. You want to know why?”
“You’re being a dick.”
He snorts. “He admitted that he has feelings for you.”
My stomach flips, stealing my breath, my head spinning from the lack of oxygen. “He did? Like what kind of feelings?”
