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“So how are you, Steven?” I asked him, trying for a friendly tone.
He looked so tired, so worn out. He managed a fleeting smile, though.
“I’m hanging in there. The girls keep me going, and my job’s hours are such that I can be here when they get home from school. They’re still having a hard time with their mother’s death, so I thought moving a few towns over would help. That’s how we ended up here. It doesn’t seem to have made much difference. I just give them everything I can, and I hope it’ll turn out to be enough.” Steven looked pensively off into the distance. “I wish they could’ve known what it was like, though, growing up among family, learning how to roll a perfect pizza crust before you learned how to tie your shoes. I wish they could have what we had, Dom.”
A big yellow school bus stopped at the corner amid squealing brakes and flashing lights. Children poured out the door and scattered in different directions. One of them scattered our way.
My breath caught as I watched the little girl who was the very image of her mother. She scampered across the front lawn, crushing leaves under her sneakers. She stopped in front of Steven.
“Daddy, I made you this in art class,” she said, proudly holding out a watercolor painting of an elaborate butterfly.
Steven accepted the paper with a broad smile. “Thank you, sweetheart. It’s beautiful.”
The girl noticed me. She frowned. “Who’s this?”
Steven glanced at me and then back at her. “Alice, this is my cousin Dominic.”
“You have a cousin?”
“Yup, I have several. Now why don’t you run inside, hang this brand-new artwork on the fridge, and have a snack? I stopped by the baker down the road and picked up cannolis, but you have to save some for your sister too.”
“Oh, yum!” she squealed and darted inside. Then she popped her head back out. “I forgot to say that it was nice to meet you, Dominic.”
I waved. “It was nice to meet you, too, Alice.”
Steven and I were quiet for a few seconds. When he finally spoke, his voice wasn’t bitter.
“She’s not yours, you know,” he said quietly.
“I know.”
He frowned. “You know?”
I nodded. “Beth sent me a letter, explaining. I guess the timeline was close enough that some people had their doubts.”
“What do you mean a letter?” His eyes had narrowed, and I wondered if I should have brought it up.
“I got it about a year after Donna, Gio, and I moved to Arizona. She let me know that your daughter was born ten months after the last time we were together and that Alice was undoubtedly your daughter no matter what the wagging tongues said.”
“Oh.” He looked thoughtful. “Did she say anything else?”
I still had that letter. I kept it in an old cigar box that had belonged to Papa Leo. I hadn’t looked at it in years, but I remembered everything it said.
“She said she loved you,” I told him truthfully. “She said she was happy.”
He looked relieved.
“How’s Gio?” he asked suddenly.
I was glad to switch the topic of conversation to my brother. “He’s great. Married with a baby girl.”
“Happy to hear that.” He smiled. “I always loved Giovanni. He was the most awesome little kid.”
“Well, now he’s the most awesome grown man.”
Steven suddenly looked shy. “I’m proud of you guys, you know. I’m proud of you for finding a way to bring back what our family lost. If only Papa Leo was here to see it.”
I scanned the cloudless sky. “Maybe he does,” I said. “Maybe they all do.”
Steven looked up. “Yeah, maybe.” He elbowed me gently and stood up. “Why don’t you stay for dinner? I’ve got a portable brick oven in the backyard. It won’t be the same as eating at Esposito’s, but the pies still come out pretty decent.”
The invitation surprised me. I didn’t even consider turning it down. “I’d like that, Steven. Thank you.”
Steven’s older daughter, Maya, arrived home a short time later. She’d only been three the last time I saw her. She didn’t remember me, which was probably a good thing. The four of us rolled out pizza dough and laughed and ate. Even though I’d never been to this house before, it felt a little like coming home.
My cousin had offered his battered couch as a place for me to crash, but I didn’t want to impose anymore, so I said goodbye and checked into a motel. As I stared at the hotel ceiling, trying to summon sleep, I kept seeing images of the old restaurant and the people who filled it. I knew that from now on I’d be able to remember it all without a trace of bitterness or regret. Donna and Leo Esposito had raised me with love and with optimism. They were now both gone from this earth, but the lessons they’d instilled remained. I wanted to be the best version of myself. Not just to honor their memory, but for me and for the people I loved.
Early the next morning, as the plane lifted its nose and climbed above the old city, I thought only of Melanie. I remembered how she said she’d always wanted to travel to New York. I had to let her know that if she was willing to take a risk and travel with me, then I’d happily take her anywhere. Absolutely fucking anywhere.
