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Ben just stares at me, his expression flat. He’s a Ben Beltran mask. There’s no telling what goes on underneath.
“WHY, BEN?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Why WHAT, Camden?”
I have to take a breath or I’ll start crying. “Why in the hell did you decide to brag to the whole goddamn cafeteria that we’d hooked up?”
And then, just for a split second, his dark eyes widen with alarm. The flash of emotion vanishes as quickly as it arrived. “That’s not what happened.”
“Yes it is! You did exactly what you promised me you wouldn’t. You’re not stupid enough to believe I wouldn’t find out. You just didn’t care.”
He hops over the counter and closes the distance between us. “Look, if you can calm down for a second and quit drama queening it up all over the place I can explain.”
I take a step back. “Nothing you say now can excuse what you did. You said I could trust you, Ben. That I needed to trust you. You lied! I think you lie all the time.”
His jaw works and his eyes narrow into a glare. “Okay, let’s talk about lies. Hey Camden, remember when you looked me in the eye and said you haven’t been spying on me? And then I find out you’ve been trying to extract secondhand information from my friends.”
I roll my eyes. “Now who’s being a drama queen? I talked to Trina about asking her boyfriend some questions and I did that before we got together. Not exactly a Mission Impossible quest.”
“Kent wanted to know why the hell you were asking questions behind my back like you’re some kind of pompous ass New York Times reporter instead of a clueless schoolgirl. And when he told me, it kind of pissed me off. You should know better than to fuck with other people’s lives.”
“So you figured you’d get even by telling anyone in earshot about how we hooked up?”
He rakes a hand through his hair and exhales loudly, as if dealing with me is beyond annoying. “Kent took a guess that there must be something happening between us.”
“And you didn’t correct him.”
“Should I have lied? Thought you had a problem with lying.”
“I have a problem with you boasting to your sports buddies that we fucked around.”
“We didn’t fuck around, Camden. I got you off. You got me off too. It’s not a big deal.”
“I’m delighted to hear that it meant nothing to you.”
“I didn’t say that for fuck’s sake.” He shakes his head in disgust. “You know that if I was only out for a good time then I could have finished taking it from you the other night.”
I swallow. “That’s not true.”
He snorts out a laugh. “No? I’d bet my left nut that once I made you come you were ready to let me fuck you bareback right there on the bench.”
“You arrogant son of a bitch! You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I’m outraged mostly because I know he’s right. If Ben had kept going I wouldn’t have stopped him. I’m ashamed of myself. I’m even more ashamed that he’s aware of the truth.
I hold my head up and will my tears away. “You made me believe that I could trust you. And now I’m sure that I shouldn’t have.”
Ben won’t even look at me now, like the sight of my teary eyes and trembling lips are just too embarrassing to see. Or maybe this game has just become too dull for him to play anymore. “Maybe it’s impossible for us to trust each other.”
I cough on my own words. “No kidding. I made a mistake.”
The door opens and Diane Cushing walks into that heated moment. She gapes at the sight of us as we stand faced off on the verge of war.
“What’s going on, kids?”
I try to work my lips into a smile. I’m sure I don’t succeed. “I’m so sorry. I don’t think I can work tonight. I just don’t feel very well.”
Diane shifts to motherly concern. She wants to press her palm to my head and feel for a fever. She wants to give me cold medicine and tea. She wants to drive me home herself. I hate myself for telling such a lie to a woman who is the very essence of kindness but in reality I truly don’t feel very well. My stomach hurts, my chest feels heavy and my throat is clogged with drowned sobs.
