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I can feel my phone vibrate with an incoming text. “Thanks.”
Kent is now trying to haul Trina out of the room, presumably to go perform something carnal. She does not appear to mind but before she goes she wraps me in a hug.
“Have a great Christmas. We’re leaving for the ski lodge tomorrow but give me a call over break, okay?”
“I will.”
While I watch Trina exiting with Kent’s arm draped over her shoulders I realize that she’s probably the best friend I have at Black Mountain these days. And yet I refused to tell her the barest outline of what’s been happening between me and Ben.
“Why don’t you have any friends, Camden?”
When he said that to me I was annoyed, offended. Because I have friends. Plenty of friends. I have friends I say hello to in the hallway, friends I greet in class, friends I exchange classroom notes with. I just don’t have friends I can cry with or confess my own weaknesses to. No, I don’t have those in Black Mountain or in Devil Valley.
The band revs up another number and begins blasting obscene lyrics to the tune of Winter Wonderland and this is when the principal, Mr. D, steps in and relieves them of their microphone.
Rather than remain here amidst all the holiday hysteria I choose to get a ham sandwich from the deli counter and retreat to the newsroom. It’s completely empty and usually I revel in the opportunity to get things done in peace and quiet, but today there’s a twinge of loneliness. I could start thinking about the first issue after the new year because I’m a big fan of planning ahead. Instead I withdraw my phone and stare at an empty screen as I sort through words in my head.
I’m really sorry about yesterday.
I send the text and then stare at it for a long time. And then, hastily, before I can really think about it, I send another one.
I miss you.
There’s no answer by the time the bell rings to signal the end of lunch hour. There’s no answer throughout the afternoon classes either and no answer by the time I step off the bus and into Devil Valley.
I’m starting to feel a little bit of self pity. Ben’s ‘no friends’ comment is haunting me. But while it’s true that I don’t have a stable filled with close friends I do have something else.
I have my family.
The last bell at Devil Valley High is about to ring and I decide to surprise my brother. We can walk home together, maybe bake some chocolate chip cookies and then watch a Disney movie with Adela if she feels up to it.
Devil Valley High is a sad eyesore compared to Black Mountain Academy. It’s ancient, built in the nineteen fifties. Last year a portion of the roof collapsed but luckily it happened over spring break and no one was in the building. Sometimes there’s talk about bond measures that would pay for a new high school but it never happens. When I was little I assumed I’d graduate from here just like my parents did.
The final bell rang only a moment ago and students are already pouring out of the building. I recognize many of them because we used to go to school together and because the town of Devil Valley is small, smaller than Black Mountain. A few of them glance at me with curiosity and I feel rather conspicuous standing here in my BMA skirt.
“And then I told that bitch that she better step back or I’ll yank that nasty ass hair out of her fucking head!”
Instantly I recognize the voice of my long ago best friend. Bridget Spinelli is leading a squad of cheerleading followers out of the building while promising severe acts of violence. I stand still as she struts past and then breathe a sigh of relief when she fails to notice me.
No such luck when the McGill brothers appear. Alex pauses at the top of the steps and a slow, vicious grin spreads across his face. He elbows his brother, who looks at me, grins and rubs his hand over his crotch. Charming. I feel lucky when they appear to lose interest and wander off toward the ice covered athletic fields.
Seeing them reminds me of the day I ran into Dee’s. I still don’t know for sure what Ben said to them but it was enough to make them leave. Remembering that day brings a smile to my lips and I pull out my phone on the off chance that I didn’t hear an incoming text. There isn’t one.
“Cam?” Frankie’s face is full of worry when he finds me standing out here. “What’s wrong? Is it Mom?”
Crap. I should have known that would be his first thought if I showed up here out of the blue.
“No, not at all. She’s fine.”
He exhales, then raises an eyebrow. “Then what are you doing here?”
I bump his shoulder. He’s getting tall. He might be taller than me in another year. “Just wanted to walk home with my brother. Is that okay?”
“Sure.” He’s all smiles now. “Let’s go.”
“Merry Christmas, Frankie!” A girl waves from the top step. She’s young. She’s cute. She’s looking at my little brother with the hopeful eyes of a girl with a major crush.
He waves back but says nothing.
