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The worst part? She looked fucking happy.
Happy without me.
Sliding my helmet down onto my head, I tug my jacket back on, and I start up my bike. Accelerating and taking off so quickly the tires squeal, I speed down the street. Given the late hour, the roads are thankfully pretty deserted. Once I hit the highway, I rev up the engine and fly down the long, open stretch of nearly empty road, jerking the front wheel off the ground and into the air. Adrenaline pulsates throughout my core, but it’s not enough to drown out the pain. My heart is pounding inside of my chest, my lungs are constricting, and it feels like I can’t breathe.
I haven’t felt this in so goddamn long.
Spencer.
Spencer Rae Maddox.
The ghost I’ve been chasing for more than a decade has been right under my nose for who knows how fucking long. After all these years, she’s still the only person in this entire world capable of making me feel anything real.
I felt it the moment I laid eyes on her in that bar. I felt it all rushing back to me. A tsunami of emotions and memories, drowning me on dry land.
She was there, and then she was gone, and I thought for sure Ryker was going to kill her. I was a fucking mess, trying to keep it together because my best friend’s girl was missing too. We were on a rescue mission to save two innocents from the clutches of our psychopathic boss, while simultaneously trying to take him out.
When we found her outside of that building, lying in the street, she was beaten and bloodied, but alive, and there was no way I was letting her out of my sight. I took her home and had the Brotherhood’s doctor, Dr. G, look her over to make sure she was going to be okay. She was so in and out of it, I truly wasn’t sure. He assured me it was from the concussion, so I did my best to clean her up in the meantime, dressing her in warm clothing, and putting her to bed.
My bed.
I watched her sleep for days, only waking up long enough for water and ibuprofen. Dr. G had told me to keep an eye on her. So I did. I never took my eyes off of her unless I was helping Declan, and in those moments, I left Hannah to watch over her.
She was best friends with the girl that my best friend loves, all this time. Talk about six degrees of separation. How? How did I not know?
Without saying the words out loud, the fact of the matter was, I know how I didn’t know. I had given up really searching for her years ago. I didn’t stop loving her. I didn’t stop needing her. But I had accepted the fact that she very likely moved on with her life. I told myself she was probably happy, and the universe was telling me to let her go. I had accepted the fact that I would die old and alone. Full of pain and regret.
But she’s here. She’s fucking here in Havok Hills, and I’m filled with so many damn questions. Why did she disappear from Lakeview? Why did she change her name? And most importantly, why doesn’t she want me? How can she not love me anymore?
It was always supposed to be us.
I never wanted to leave her, but I did what I had to do back then. I had to fucking do it to keep her safe, even if it meant breaking my own heart in the process.
The first time my father threatened her life, floods my brain, and tears well up, blurring my vision. Pushing the limits, I accelerate more, but I can’t shut my brain down. That old man fucking took everything from me.
My innocence.
My sanity.
The love of my fucking life.
The air from my lungs, and the heart from my chest.
Suddenly, I can feel myself breaking all over again, and I’m powerless to stop it.
Swallowing my emotions, I stuff them deep down and lock them up tight, just as my front tire reconnects with the asphalt. With Ryker Underwood gone, I’ve got a fucking empire to rebuild. If she doesn’t want to stand by my side, I can’t allow her to occupy space my brain. There are people who depend on me to fix this broken organization.
If she fucking wants him, then fine.
Fuck her.
I won’t give up this time entirely though. I’ll keep my distance. Bide my time. I’ll give her the space she needs. I meant what I said to her tonight. One day she’s gonna wake up and it’ll hit her. It’ll hit her that Liam’s not the one. It will hit her that we are still everything to each other. She will remember what we had, and she’ll come crawling back.
As much as I want to believe I’d tell her to fuck right off, or that I’d make her beg and plead, the sad truth is, I’ll be waiting.
I’ll always be fucking waiting.
Part 1
