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He sucks in a sharp breath, and I can see the turmoil swirling behind his eyes. While I may appear calm and collected on the outside, inside I’m beginning to panic. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for him to give me an ultimatum, and I’ve been feeling one coming for a while now. I can’t let him go. I need him, I fucking need him.
But I can’t need him. I can’t let myself love him.
Arms length, Zeke. Arms length.
Leaning forward with a lazy smile, I capture his bottom lip between my teeth and he moans softly. Without a second thought, I find my fingers fumbling with the zipper of his jeans as I pull him closer. Hands, lips, tongues, they all have a mind of their own and they’re worked up into a frenzy. Desperation floods every corner of my mind, and I’m drowning in the need to bury myself inside of him.
“Zeke,” he murmurs.
“Come on, baby boy, come upstairs with me,” I mutter between all consuming kisses. Digging my fingers into his hips, I know he wants this as much as I do because his dick is hard and he’s grinding against me. Seeking relief in the friction between us.
“I - I, mmmm,” he groans into my mouth as I slide one hand between us and massage his cock through his jeans. “F-fuck.”
“Maybe if you’re a good boy, I’ll let you come first tonight,” I groan, moving my lips from his, down the length of his neck, dragging my teeth across his skin.
“Zeke, I,” he pants breathlessly as I grip his cock tighter. “I l…I lo…”
No. No. No. Don’t do it. Don’t say it. But I love you too.
“F-fuck. Damnit,” he hisses.
His tone goes from dripping with lust, to irritated in zero seconds flat, and he moves my hand away from his cock as he pulls away from me.
“I can’t tonight, Zeke, I… I got shit to do before I meet up with Spencer.”
“What?” I cock my head in confusion as he reaches down and adjusts himself.
“I, uh, Afterlife. I’m behind on the invoicing and some other things. I have to show my face tonight before Darren just up and quits on me. He’s been handling nearly all the operations lately.”
“Right… Afterlife,” I nod.
“Yeah, Afterlife.”
Liar.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night at Rico’s then?” I shove my hands in the pockets of my jeans.
“Yeah,” he nods.
The words that I need to get out, but know I can’t seem to say, climb up the back of my throat like vomit and I choke as I swallow them. Like shards of glass, each word eviscerates me internally. I think I’m bleeding out on the inside. When did we get here? How did we get here?
Don’t you open your fucking mouth Zeke. You don’t get this. It’s not for you. Fun. It’s just fun.
Chapter four
Cole
“You mind closing up tonight?”
“That depends, you ready to make me the boss, boss?”
Spencer finishes wiping down the bar-top and scoffs as she tosses the damp rag at my face. Ducking quickly, I blow her a kiss as the rag flies over my head and slaps the wall behind me instead.
“You know I’d go crazy if I weren’t actually working right? I can’t just own the place, I need to stay busy,” she laughs as she squats down and unlocks the safe, retrieving her purse from inside.
“Where are you heading out to?”
“Actually, Riot’s meeting me here for a few drinks, so I’ll be here, but off the clock.”
