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I swore I saw amusement in her gaze when she looked at me now, “I don’t think you need to be worrying about that, Alexander. I have saved your life and I think that you should be grateful to me because if it wasn’t for ME, you would be dead.”
I hate to admit it but she’s right. If it wasn’t for her, I’m sure I would have been dead, and I don’t need that knowledge in my head right now. I don’t even know what to think about everything that has been happening. It’s like everything has come to a sudden halt and I have so many questions to ask her but I’m quickly coming up blank every time.
Oh fuck, just what did I get myself into?
I couldn’t be sure there, but something did tell me that I knew there was no way in hell that I’m going to be able to allow this woman to reel me in. But a sudden thought dawns in my mind and I have to ask her, or I think I might end up going crazy.
“Do you have a mark on you?” I ask her, hoping to find out the truth, “the mark of a crescent moon.”
If she was hiding something, I’m sure I would have seen it on her face, but she gives away nothing. She looks at me like I’m nothing as well, making me wonder if maybe I had just assumed the worst about her without actually thinking about it. I know that I should have probably asked her more questions or something, but I feel like if I did, I would lose her, and I couldn’t allow that to happen. If anything, I need her to love me because I don’t know what I would do about it if she doesn’t.
Running my fingers through my hair, I just study her cautiously.
“What do you want from me?” I finally ask her, pinning her with my stare, “I hope you realize just exactly what you’ve been doing to me and whatnot. I know that you think that you’re the winner of this whole game, but I can assure you that I won’t put up with anything, especially if you’re trying to play me.”
She just shrugs her shoulders and gives me a look that tells me she doesn’t care, “trust me, you don’t have to worry about how I feel about you or anything. I know where I stand in this relationship, and I know that there is no way that you’re going to let me live if I lie to you. I don’t have that mark; I just saved your life, and I would appreciate a thank you.”
I want to yell at her because who does she think she is? I have never had to bow down to anyone, and I wouldn’t be starting today. I didn’t NEED to bow down to her, it didn’t make much sense. I wish that she would just answer my questions and let me know if this is truly the road that I want to go down because it is becoming more and more obvious about where the answer might end up lying.
“Okay, I’ll believe you for now.” I finally give in, sighing softly, “I just wish that you would have come sooner. Why was I poisoned?”
“Someone is after you.” She explains to me, not holding anything back, “I don’t know who it is, but I can assure you that they are NOT going to stop until you are dead. But if you trust me, I promise that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
I don’t know why she is doing this; I have never met her in my entire life. Something is screaming inside of me though that I can trust her, and I need to give her a chance or I would surely regret it. I don’t know if I would actually regret it but I’m not trying to find out. Especially not right now with everything else that has been happening.
“I will trust you this once.” I promise her, narrowing my eyes on her, “but don’t make me regret this.”
I have this odd feeling that I might but not in the ways I would have expected.
Chapter Four
Leah
I am trying to hide the connection that I feel towards Alexander, but it is NOT easy at all. I find myself falling harder and harder for him with every passing second, like I’m falling for someone or something that I can’t have. I hate it. I just want to be everything that he could ever want, and I want to love him the way that he deserves. If he doesn’t agree with me, of course, there is nothing that I can do about it, but I can assure him right here and now that I won’t allow it to do anything towards me.
I just wish that there was something that I could do about this. I guess the only thing that I could figure out is whether or not I want to ever admit to him the truth about who or even what I am. Do I want to explain that his life is in danger? Do I want to try to explain that I might be the only person who can keep him alive? Do I want to attempt anything? I have this feeling that it might end up crashing down on me. I might end up regretting everything.
Could I accept that?
Could I let myself fall for him?
I don’t know, that’s the harsh reality of it. I don’t know which direction this is going to go but I have to continue with my mission. I can’t let anything deter me from what I need to do, not even himself. If I allow myself to fall for his temptation, I’m afraid that I would end up being royally fucked and I would not be able to do anything about it.
“Alexander.” I murmur, catching his attention now as I meet his eyes, “I need you to understand that I’m here because you need the protection. And you do need my help. I can’t give you the answers that you’re wanting but I can keep showing you what to think about it. You just need to trust me on this.”
I continue to see how he is looking at me, like I might end up spilling something big but he’s wrong there. I know how to keep everything in, and I won’t spill anything like that. I won’t blow my cover. I won’t allow him to win in this sense. I won’t allow him to take over because he can. I can’t allow that to happen because I know that there is a chance that I would end up getting royally fucked.
Sighing softly, I just shake my head back and forth and try to decide what to do about it.
I guess I’m going to find out.
I have been following Alexander around, seeing how he is still hurting from the poison, but he isn’t going to let this hold him back. I have to admire his passion and dedication because I don’t know if I could do the same thing if I were in his shoes. I think a part of me would have wanted to give up but how could we ask that of him? How could he just end up losing everything because of selfish desires? I know that feeling entirely and I know what it does to someone who ends up thinking too much about it. I know that the best thing to do would be to ask him for mercy but how can I ask him for mercy? How could I ask him for anything?
I just hope this goes the way that I want it to because I don’t know how I feel about it. I keep thinking that maybe he’s going to see me for who I am but instead, he is looking at me like I’m a nuisance. He is watching me like I might end up acting out and maybe I will. That is a temptation of mine, something that I’d like to see happen but the other part of me doesn’t even want to think about it.
I just want to fall for him and be happy. Is that really too hard to ask for? Can I ask for anything else? Can I want anything else? I see the way women look at him, like they might end up gobbling him up if they are given the chance. My stomach churns with jealousy, wishing that he would just do something about this because there’s no reason that he should be entertaining ANY of them. They don’t deserve him, and I don’t care if that makes me sound like a hypocrite. It’s the truth. I have no other way of saying it besides that.
I just hope that he might listen to me.
