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He surges forward then, colliding against me in a tornado of wrists and knees, our foreheads bumping, then separating, then bumping again. His mouth drags against the side of my face, then my chin, then the corner of my mouth. There are teeth once he reaches my lips. His breaths come in sharp puffs. His body is trembling.
“Hey, shh, baby, relax,” I whisper.
“No. Want you. Need you, Maison. Fuck—I need you.” His voice catches on the last few words, his fingers trembling against the sides of my neck as he tries to bring me back into another kiss. He repeats himself, blue eyes wet as he gazes up at me. “I need you.”
“I’m right here.” I press a kiss to the center of his forehead, then the tip of his nose, then his lips—just enough to reassure him, but not enough to let him restart the frantic making out of before. “I’m not going anywhere. Take a breath for me.”
He tries, but it’s stuttering and hitched. “Don’t change your mind,” he begs.
“I’m not changing my mind.” I guide him back on the mattress until he’s sprawled out for me, his feet still on the floor. I don’t make him wait, already settling on my knees between his parted legs and hooking my fingers into the waist of his pants. He lifts his ass, making it easier for me to slide the fabric free. He’s not wearing any underwear. His cock, hard and flushed, bobs at the first moment of freedom before hovering above his taut stomach. “Goddamn, you’re fucking beautiful.”
“Th-thank you.” He looks at me through hooded eyes, tongue sweeping across his bottom lip to wet it. “What should I—do you want—I wanna be good for you.”
I try not to come off perplexed, knowing his mind must be a fucking mess tonight after everything he’s been through. “You’re always good for me, Nolan. You’re the best fucking thing to ever happen to me.”
“I—” He stops, almost like the words are just registering. Then he gives me the most adorable shy smile. “Really?”
“Really.” I press a kiss to his left hip bone. “I’m sorry I haven’t made that more clear.” I press a kiss to the opposite hip bone. “Let me show you.” I slide my hands from his knees to his inner thighs and press each leg to the side until he’s spread for me. “Can I?”
“C-can you what?”
“Show you,” I tell him, keeping my eyes locked on his as I stroke the soft skin of his inner thighs. “Show you how much I love you. How much I want you.”
He sucks in a shuddering breath. “Y-yeah, okay. Show me.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Nolan
He takes his time getting us both naked and stretched out on the bed. I don’t mind. Especially because he lets me touch all I want, indulging me as I rake fingers through his dark chest hair and run hands over his thick thighs. I can’t quite get the courage to touch his cock when he unveils it, partly because it’s even better than I fantasized and partly because of the stupid conditioning that tells me I don’t have the right to do so.
I get the courage to ask to touch it though.
“Please,” he murmurs. It itches, him asking me please, but I ignore it. The moment my hand wraps around the root of him, he growls, “Fuck, baby, that feels good.”
I shiver, liking his reaction a lot. “Can I do more?” I ask him.
His eyebrows pull together in confusion for a moment before he realizes what I’m asking. He cups my face, giving me a smile that’s a little too soft for a man that’s about to tell me to suck his cock. Sure enough, “Not now, baby. Let me make you feel good.”
It feels like my stomach drops straight to my feet. I ignore it. I ignore all of it. This is Maison, this is almost everything I’ve wanted, this is enough. “Okay.”
He grins. “Lay back. Spread those sexy legs for me.”
I do as told, a layer of my anxiety falling away under the weight of his order. As I get settled, he pulls a bottle of lube out of the bedside table. My cock throbs at the sight of it.
“I don’t need a lot,” I warn him.
“Just enjoy yourself,” he says, not exactly sounding like he believes me. “Tell me if anything hurts or you don’t like anything, okay?”
It’s hard not to sound a little grumbly as I say, “Okay.”
At least he doesn’t make me wait long before he’s sliding his first finger inside of me. He doesn’t do it very slowly either, just enough to let it ease in, but not teasing by any means. And—holy shit.
It feels good to be filled with something again. I hadn’t realized how fucking empty I was until now. All of the time I’d spent wearing a daily plug that was only removed when I was being fucked by men, having something inside of me sort of became a comfort. It was a part of me I hadn’t even realized was missing until now.
But it’s not enough. Even as he adds a second finger, waves of pleasure washing over me, it’s not nearly enough.
“Mais,” I pant. “Need you.”
