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Shut myself off from the hurt.
I called Tilly, and she answered on the first ring and asked, “How’d everything go?”
I gave her the rundown on the meetings then drew a breath. “Tilly, I need to talk to you about Fitz and Collyn.”
She sighed. “Need me to kick their ass already? Damn. I got a good feeling from those two.”
Snickering, I sat back in my chair. “What? No. It’s just that they admitted this morning that they are struggling with moving on from their mate who died.” I told her all about the situation from that morning and how Collyn had reacted.
“Haven, you knew they were widowed when you accepted the match, and they had to know this situation would come up. Tell me this—are you sure about them? Are they your mates? What’s the wolf girl say?”
I shut my laptop and ran my hand over my face. “They are ours.”
“Then you need to make it clear that if this happens again, they have to talk to you about it. Be open. But you also have to make sure you are okay knowing that they will always be in some stage of mourning their former mate. Once you are mated to someone, they are inside you. Death and finding another mate don’t magically make that disappear. You have to be okay with them loving you and loving her as well.”
“That’s hard,” I admitted.
“No one said it was easy. I’ve read through some of the matings on the app. That newspaper is doing a special report on some of the couples. Let me tell you, love isn’t easy. No part of it is. But you have to decide if it’s worth it, babe.”
Tilly got to call me babe once in a while, but only because she was my best friend.
“How’d you get so wise?” I asked.
“Working for you. I swear, I’d still be waiting tables if it wasn’t for you, Haven. So, do you love them?”
I blew out a long breath. “Yeah. I do.”
“Then it’s worth the fight. I know that hearing about their mate and what happened this morning probably made you put up those shields of yours, but let them down. Let them in. Call me when you get some. Those two are yummy.” She laughed and hung up, leaving me shaking my head. My best friend had a way of always making me laugh.
After a bit more pouting, I went downstairs and to the kitchen. Collyn stood there, taking a plate out of the microwave. “I was going to bring this to you. You missed dinner.”
“I did. Where’s Fitz?” I accepted the plate. Another homemade meal. They were going to spoil me.
He sat next to me. “He went upstairs for a shower. He needed some time to think. You’ve been hiding from us.”
Nodding, I took a bite. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “For hiding. For running.”
“Ah, sweetheart,” he said and pulled my chair close to him. “There is nothing for you to apologize for. That was all me today. This is so new and yet, some days, it feels like losing Sela is a fresh wound. You were absolutely right to call me out for my behavior. I clammed up and shut you out. That was wrong of me—no excuses. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
A proper apology.
“I forgive you. Tilly had some advice for me.”
Collyn cocked his head. “Is that right? Do tell.”
“She said that you’re always going to love Sela but that doesn’t mean you can’t love me at the same time. Sela will always be with you but that doesn’t stop me from being your mate.”
He and I stared at each other, locked in a gaze. “She’s right. I didn’t know I could have two mates, but my wolf is telling me otherwise. Haven, I’m yours. And if you’ll still have me, I want you to be mine.”
Before the bubble we were in popped, I climbed over into his lap, facing him, and reached behind his head, threading my fingers through his soft hair. “Say it again.”
“I’m yours, female. Let me prove it to you.”
He leaned forward, capturing my lips with his, and all my walls collapsed.
Chapter Nineteen
Collyn
