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Only one way to find out.
Drew was on the phone with Cindy, so I went upstairs and shut the door.
I had a bad feeling about this. Should I delete it?
I hovered over the message. Fuck. What should I do?
Pressing quickly, I opened the message and promptly dropped the phone on the bed.
What the fuck?
Watch your back. You’re being watched. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.
By who?
What was going on?
The sensible thing would have been to call John, but curiosity got the better of me. I messaged them back.
Who is this? What do you mean?
No reply. I wasn’t sure the message had been sent.
I worried at my lip. What the hell did this mean?
I had to call John. I dialled his number and waited impatiently. No answer. Jesus of all the times to not be around.
My phone pinged again.
A concerned friend. You know too much.
What the fuck did I know? It could only have to do with Stuart. Anything else didn’t make sense. But I’d been out of the scene for five years. Had no contact with anyone since the incident. I’d kept my head down, spent most of that time drowning in a cocktail of drugs and booze.
Talking of which. I needed a drink to steady my fraying nerves.
I crept downstairs to the kitchen. Drew was nowhere to be found.
I opened the fridge, where I found a bottle of beer and an open bottle of tequila. I fucking hated that, but needs must.
I cracked open the bottle and poured a shot, my hands shaking. I gagged at the smell.
I held my nose and downed it in one. My eyes watered. Fuck, that burnt!
I poured another and another and another, each one burning my fucking throat as it went down.
Why was this happening to me? Why the fuck couldn’t people just leave me alone to live my life?
All this time, I’d been working hard on getting clean, being the best person, finding the right man, and why?
What was the point? I knocked back another, unsure how I was keeping them down.
I felt worse than I had in a long time, and to top it all, the little voice that had been silent for the past week began its taunting.
You know what you need?
Yeah, I knew what I needed, but where could I get it from? There was nothing in the house. Drew made a point of not keeping anything around I could use.
I had started with soft prescription drugs, then gone on to something harder until I was hooked.
