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“So, you and Hannah are the real deal, huh?” I asked, half-teasing, half-disbelieving.
A smile I’d never seen on Nikolai’s spread across his face. It was similar to the smile Ava had given me earlier that morning when I’d checked in on her regarding my texts. Dreamy, soft.
“Yeah, definitely. I don’t like to let her out of my sight. Especially with my crazy as fuck father still out there.”
I nodded. Nikolai’s father, Yuri, was the head of the Bratva in Chicago until he became too much of a liability with his erratic, drug-fueled behavior. The Russian mob didn’t tolerate any shit that cost them money or brought them problems. Yuri had done both. It was decided that he would be taken out, a decision Nikolai whole-heartedly supported, but not only did they not kill him, he managed to kidnap Hannah’s sister, Emmy. All that drama appeared to have the effect of a wedding ceremony on Nikolai and Hannah, because I’ve rarely seen them apart since.
My brows pulled together. “It doesn’t feel…suffocating?”
Nikolai shook his head. “I know what you’re thinking, but no, not at all. I finally figured out that it only feels suffocating if you’re with the wrong person.”
I immediately thought to Ava’s need to be free, how she had suffered miserably being in a relationship for all the wrong reasons, one that had felt like a jail cell to her.
Changing my mindset on relationships was about as easy as the movement of tectonic plates, but I couldn’t ignore that I was starting to rethink a lot of my past behavior. I looked at Nikolai, who was looking out the window, undoubtedly trying to keep Hannah in his sight and wondered if that kind of vigilance didn’t sometimes feel like a noose. He seemed happy, maybe happier than I’ve ever seen him, but their relationship was new. Would he always be happy dealing with all the responsibilities that come with a relationship?
I’ve yet to see any adult that capable of navigating them. My parents had failed on practically every conceivable level, yet continued to live in the prison of their marriage.
I shook my head and watched as Hannah and Ava appeared in the cafeteria, waiting for the inevitable fireworks when she questioned me about Shelby.
“Hey, guys, what’s up?” Ava asked as she sat down next to me and started eating my fries. My jaw swung open as I stared at her in surprise. I shot a look to Nik to see if he understood what was going on, but he looked equally perplexed as Hannah started eating his fries.
“Um, nothing. How’re you doing?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but covertly staring at her to gauge her expressions.
“I’m good, I have a test later on in psychology, but it should be easy, it’s about Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development.”
I stared at her dubiously, still unable to believe she wasn’t screeching at me and trying to shove my face in the mound of ketchup on my plate.
Hannah snorted. “Yeah, that sounds super easy, old Erikson.”
Ava chuckled. “I love psychology, so I read up on this stuff in my spare time. I love dissecting human behavior, understanding why people do the messed-up stuff they do – cults, serial killers, all of it.”
“Well, that explains your choice of companionship,” Nikolai replied sardonically.
Hannah snorted as she chewed a fry, and I good-naturedly flipped Nik the bird.
“Okay, Hannah and I have to get out of here for a while.”
Hannah’s dark eyebrows popped up. “We do?”
Nikolai shot Hannah a look hot enough to melt steel, causing Hannah to flush to the roots of her dark hair and pop up beside him.
“Oh, yeah, we have to, uh, go to…uh…”
Nikolai stopped her stammering with a hard kiss on the mouth.
“Hannah, they know where we’re going.”
Hannah blushed some more. “Well, alright then. Bye, guys!” she said as she gave us a little wave as Nikolai pulled her through the cafeteria and out the door.
“I barely know Nikolai, but even I’m surprised he has become so smitten,” Ava murmured as she pawed through my fries, something that should bug me, but didn’t.
“I know, it’s kind of weird, to be honest. He used to be just–” I started, but then feeling uncomfortable about where I was leading the conversation, stopped.
Ava smirked. “Just like you?”
I leaned back, preparing to finally have this confrontation. “Okay, so I assume Hannah told you who Shelby is, right?”
Ava nodded her head, still seeming more interested in what was on my plate than anything I had to say.
