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I blew out a hard breath, unable to believe how close I’d come to losing her. It would have been hard to track her down if Orlov had gotten her out of the country and the thought of that had my stomach cramping.
I gently cradled her face in my hands, looking into eyes that glistened with a mixture of sapphire and topaz. “I’ll never let anyone take you again, I swear. You are going to stay with me where I can keep my eyes on you. If you have to go to school online, that’s fine by me. In fact, I would love it if you never left my apartment again.”
Her eyes widened and she let out a shocked laugh. “That might be a little overboard. Orlov’s gone. If anything, now you can lighten up a little.”
My lips pressed together. I needed to tell her about her father, but I just didn’t have the heart to do it now as she sat half-naked in my arms, still reeling from having Orlov kidnap and maul her. No fucking way.
“Let’s get out of here. I want to take you back to my place. We have some cold pizza to eat,” I said, hoping to make her smile. Had I ever tried to make a woman smile before? I was certain the answer was no.
Even though it might have been slightly forced, she humored me, giving me a weak, crooked grin. “Let’s go.”
Chapter 35
Emmy
I sat shivering in the car next to Ivan, shock and horror moving through me in shockwaves. My body was wrung out and exhausted, but my brain felt like it had jumper cables attached to it, sending jolts of electricity and scrambling my thoughts in every direction.
This day needed to end.
I pulled the cheap hotel blanket more tightly around me with one hand as the other clenched Ivan’s muscled thigh. I had tried to hold his hand, but he was driving and talking on the phone, which required both of them. He understood immediately what I needed, so he planted my hand on his leg and held it there, saying without words that he was okay with me touching him. I wanted to cry with relief. The connection between us was the only thing holding me together right now.
It was strange to have him so conscious of what I needed when I was in crisis, but that was how we’d met that fateful day where I attached myself to him for twenty-four hours straight. Guilt stormed through me as I thought about how I forced my touch on him without being aware of his aversion to physical contact. God, that must have been torture for him.
He didn’t seem to be bothered now, frequently rubbing his hand over mine where it sat on his thigh as he made what seemed like a million phone calls on our way back to his apartment. He would frequently look over to me and raise an eyebrow, silently inquiring if I was okay. His unexpectedly considerate gestures had tears welling up in my eyes, unbalancing my already precarious emotional state. The way he was taking care of me, checking in on me, allowing me to touch him so freely—it was the warmth I needed right now.
We were nearly to the apartment when Ivan finally finished his last call and threw the phone down. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, as if the simple question might shatter my composure.
I nodded, but was shocked to find myself tearing up again, validating his silent fear.
His eyes widened almost comically at my weepiness. “Emmy? Fuck, hold on. We’re almost home.”
Home. He called his apartment our home. Now, I was crying for an entirely separate reason. I quickly swiped at my tears, eager to put him at ease. “I’m fine, honestly. I think it’s just some kind of residual adrenaline release, or something.”
He nodded, as if what I said was an actual thing and not some dumb excuse I’d just made up. “I understand, believe me. There are all sorts of ways the body releases emotion and adrenaline, especially after what happened today.”
I guess I didn’t make it up. “How do you release it?”
His jaw hardened. “Right now, I’d like to roll down to the warehouse and take out every bit of my emotions on Orlov’s worthless fucking face.” He said the words with such venom, such rage, I felt chills.
“I know you want to be there. I’m sorry you have to—”
His stare cut to me as he parked the car in front of his place. Our place?
“No, Emmy. Don’t even finish that sentence. I don’t want to be anywhere but where I am right now. Come on, we’ll finish talking inside.”
I reluctantly let go of his thigh so he could exit the car, shocked at the panic that flared through me at the loss of contact. Before I could get too worked up, he was there opening my door and grabbing my hand. I was immediately soothed by the contact as he pulled me inside the apartment and to the bathroom.
I frowned at him, unsure why we were here. “Why are we in here?”
“We’re taking a shower,” he replied, flipping on the water.
I nodded, realizing now how badly I needed to wash away everything that had happened. Orlov’s touch was still branded into my skin, his mouth on mine, his hands roaming my body. The thought of scrubbing it all away with Ivan next to me was balm to my battered mind.
I dropped the blanket I still had wrapped around me and pulled off my shredded shirt, unable to believe the difference in my state of mind from when I put it on this morning.
Ivan quickly stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, adjusting the knobs to make it comfortable for me. I pulled off my shoes and jeans and got in, eager to be in contact again.
He stood me in front of him, his tall, strong body blanketing me from behind, causing my entire body to relax into him. I hissed as the hot water came into contact with the cut on my chest. I’d barely noticed it when Orlov had sliced my skin in his eagerness to remove my clothes, too filled with panic and terror, but it stung now.
