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“What are you looking for?”
“Beebo. I can’t find him.”
I towel myself off, then walk over to my wardrobe and open the doors. I fetch the teddy I kept there and hide it behind my back. The least I can do is make her smile after yesterday.
“Layla helped me look for it yesterday, but she couldn’t find it.”
Wait, Layla came in here?
“Where did she check?”
“I don’t know.” She knelt to check under the bed.
My first thought is to go to my nightstand and check on the mask. Did she see it? Is that why she ran off yesterday? No, I shake off the thought but make a mental note to move the mask from the nightstand. The last thing I need is to make things even more complicated with Layla finding out who I am.
Also, where is she?
“Guess what I have behind me?”
Ruby stands and stares at me. She cocks her head to the side without her eyes leaving mine. A smile slowly creeps up on her face, and I smile back, unable to keep up the guessing game.
“Beebo!”
She runs to me, and I catch her in my arms, revealing the blue teddy bear with a torn ear and exposed wool. I’ve repeatedly offered to buy her a new one, but she’s attached to Beebo and won’t hear anything about replacing him. Understandably, Deanna gave her the teddy when she was two.
I kneel in front of her as she cradles Beebo in her arms. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, Daddy, I'm okay now.”
“Are you sure?”
I put a hand on her cheek and observed her closely. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m not born for parenting. Deanna was always the better parent who knew the right things to do. I often felt clueless about caring for Ruby when she was around, but now that she’s gone, I still feel the same way.
“Yes, Daddy. I want a cake.” Ruby smiles mischievously because she knows I won’t say no to her, not after what happened yesterday.
“Tell you what, let me give you a shower and dry you off, and I’ll buy you the biggest cake ever.”
“Daddy, I’m five! I can take a shower by myself.” She says the words like it’s unthinkable for me to bathe her at her age.
I laugh heartily, then ruffle her straight hair. “At least, let me put your hair in a turban. You know I enjoy doing that. Please, for dear old daddy?”
She rolls her eyes, nods, and stretches her tiny hand. We shake on the deal as she leaves the room to get her towels. Just as I stand, the sound of a revving car stops Ruby.
“Who’s that?” She says as she walks past me towards the window to look downstairs.
I already know who it is. Luke’s sports car has an unmistakable sound, and he never fails to rev it when he slows down to park. I ignore him and start to head to the bathroom to shower.
“It’s Luke!”
The last thing I hear as the bathroom door closes is Ruby excitedly running downstairs to meet Luke. I raise my voice to tell her to be careful, but she’s already out of earshot. For the second time this morning, I wonder if I’m a good father.
My sweatpants and blue T-shirt feel too casual as I walk down the stairs. I run my hand through my hair, and my stomach growls to remind me that I skipped dinner and haven’t had breakfast.
“Finally. I was beginning to think you locked yourself in the bathroom.”
“That happened just once, man. Let it go.”
“If it happened once, it can happen again.” His smile is mischievous.
