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Did he say he was falling for me?ME—the girl who only just figured out how sex worked? Me, the girl who chose sarcasm over actual heartfelt declarations? Or me, the target of an entire supernatural world?
That girl?
It felt too good to be true that someone as jaded as Phillip would fall for someone like me. The same elusive, longtime bachelor who lost his one love and vowed to never love again declaring he’d fallen for me sounded like a lie. Mostly, it didn’t sound real that I’d have an epiphany about my own feelings, only for him to declare his on the same damn day.
It had to be a trap.
Phillip paused, eyes tracing my face and thumbs brushing away drying tears. “But it’s not a good idea.”
There it was, the other shoe.
“Not a good idea?”
“Everyone I’ve ever cared about ends up dead, V. And you’re young with a whole life ahead of you. It’s a bad idea because you haven’t even figured out who you are yet.”
Anger overpowered every other emotion and destroyed the calm I’d worked hard to keep.
I’m going to say something I regret.
“I feel like we’ve already had this conversation,Phillip,” I retorted heatedly. “I’m fully capable of deciding what I want for myself, thank you very much.”
“You’re right, but I’d be taking advantage of you if I didn’t say something,” Phillip argued, clearly conflicted by his own statement.
“Oh, so what, now you care about how young I am? So sex is all good, but a relationship, god-forbid, is the line you’ve drawn. Seems a little backwards, dude.”
“You’re right,” he agreed, releasing my face. “But it’s like I said, I don’t know what I’m doing these days either. Everything’s fucked up.”
“That’s a cop-out and you know it,” I hissed and escaped the bed to put on my clothes. “You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re just pretending you don’t because admitting anything would mean you have to own up to that shit, Phil.”
I couldn’t figure out who was the adult in this room. Certainly not the man who one minute talked about his deeply rooted pain, proclaimed he was falling for me, then threw a punch right to the gut by saying it was a bad idea.
Phillip watched me, completely silent to my eternal annoyance. Fuming, I pulled down my shirt and glared at the vexing Austrian stretched out over the bed, still very much naked and delicious to look at.
I shook away the lust and pinned my eyes on his. “You know what I think?” His expression faded away to confusion. “I think you’re scared. I think you hide behind this manufactured excuse of me being too young and not up to snuff, but it’s you who’s not ready to admit you’re a coward.”
Phillip’s expression morphed, visibly frustrated. “You have a lot of balls to call someone like me a coward.”
I’d regret it, but with Phillip, I had to go for the throat to make a point. Maybe it’d deliver the kick in the ass he needed to get his shit together.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m young and haven’t experienced enough to know what I want. Because you’re not wrong. I’ve always known you were a bad idea.Wewere a bad idea.” Steeling my resolve, I kept my eyes firmly on his. “Maybe I should move on and call this thing what it is, not worth it, and set my sights on someone who won’t use their past as a scape-goat.”
I was really channeling Grams in this passive-aggressive speech of mine. But something told me Grams was exactly who I needed to channel to get through to Phillip.
The door opened with a click downstairs, alerting us to Sloan’s arrival.
“Someone like Sloan, maybe.”
Phillip’s expression didn’t give anything away, but his entire body tautened as if he was under attack. I didn’t stay long enough to watch and left him there to marinate in my threat. Guilt settled in my throat after the door clicked behind me, but I lifted my chin and refused to let it get the better of me. Because it wasn’t anything short of what Phillip deserved.
And he’s lucky I didn’t punch him.
Still, if I’d spent more time accepting my feelings, I might’ve been prepared for my heart to break the second I left Phillip in that bedroom.
