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And now I wantedPringles.
Still, nothing came close to the word sexy between us. Even being alone the way we were, the Austrian never hinted at anything that wasn’t his usual perverse commentary. Not that I expected him to throw himself at me, but it did bother me how easily he turned it off. It spoke to how much a player he was. It also suggested he was beyond experienced with this part of a purely sexual relationship.
And I wasn’t.
My immaturity was showing. My teenage girl brain tried and failed many times to come to terms with the probability that what happened between us was a one-and-done deal for the older Hunter. Phillip was just appeasing the wishes of a young virgin emotionally destroyed by a shit life. But I wanted him. I wanted him so bad it hurt, and I wasn’t sure for what reason.
Was it really just the sex? Was it immaturity? Was it an inappropriate attachment formed as a result of a complex emotional situation? Was it deeper? Was it the worst decision I’d ever make?
Who the fuck knows.
Too many questions stayed unanswered after our night together, and too many reasons to never do it again remained.
A smart person would chalk it up to experience and move the fuck on. Sadly, I wasn’t a smart person. I’d rather pine after some arrogant, relationship-allergic Hunter with a penchant for spouting shit and pretending nothing happened.
Luckily—or was it unluckily?—for me, Phillip was dedicated to his job. Everything about the man suggested otherwise, but the dude never lost sight of the main entrance to the Shadow Goblin hideout. He didn’t move. He barely talked. He glanced at his phone only every once and a while. And we’d only killed a few over the course of the last week and a half. Many who were likely just going out to hunt.
Still, Phillip said it sent the message we were watching and knew where the entrance was, so they’d be more likely to hide. Though, he also added goblins were as stupid as they came. They had powers and numbers that made them formidable. But tactically clever? Not even close.
It explained why they were so quickly wrangled the night we were outnumbered. I suspected as much, but it made more sense once Phillip explained it to me.
To keep the entire area guarded, everyone in Nigel’s pack took shifts, two at a time, and walked a circle around the area while we stayed in place, always watching. I envied their ability to move around and be free, but Phillip didn’t budge on assignments.
The stab junkie wanted to be first to fight, most likely.
I hadn’t seen or spoken to Nigel, but it was probably for the best I hadn’t. I was still pretty angry, and I’d likely say something if he brought it up again or acted self-righteous.
I did miss talking to everyone else, though. With only Phillip to keep me entertained, understandably, I worried more about my perverted thoughts causing problems.
Moving a bit, I situated myself in his line of sight and kept my peripheral on the rock entrance. “What happens when this is all over? Do I even get to graduate with my class?”
The other Hunter’s mouth twitched, and I could tell he wanted to smile. “We move onto our next assignment. Not very different from your usual, just with more travel. And yes, that’s the plan—goblin goo or no.”
I clicked my tongue unhappily. “I refuse. Even if you pull superior Hunter on me, if this raid lands on my big day, you can do it without me.”
Phillip laughed, fully amused. “This is an experience of a lifetime and you’d rather sit in a chair, be bored while other kids have their families fawn over them, recover some sort of useless piece of paper instead of stabbing your blade into hundreds of goblins?”
I scoffed unattractively. “Not all of us are stab junkies like you, Phil. Some of us like normal things. Boring human things.”
Crossing his arms against his chest, the Austrian regarded me with a curious look. “That’s just it, you’re not normal. Nothing about you is. You’re as unique and complex as it gets, and that’s the entire reason I can’t figure you out.”
Thank Christ for that.
“You don’t need to figure me out. Just go about your business as normal, old man.” Despite my strong retort, his comment had my pulse rushing to catch up with my heart.
Brushing back his dark hair, Phillip shook his head, not the least bit bothered by my venom. “Why make it harder on yourself? In two weeks, you’ll leave this place and its people behind. It’s easier if you just disappear now.”
I stopped, not ready to hear it. “I—”
“And you strike me as the sort to forget you’re nothing like those kids you go to school with. You’re a weapon. Your skills were cultivated for that very reason, to turn you into one. No school you’ll ever go to can prepare you for that. The only person who can is me.” His pale eyes landed on me, striking me instantly to stone. Phillip reached out and took hold of my hand. “That’s just the way it is.”
“I’ll make it different,” I finally responded, desperate to ignore the warmth of his hand enclosing over mine. “I refuse to surrender to that.”
“Oh?” he asked, clearly not convinced. “How?”
I licked my lips, not missing the way his eyes immediately dropped to my mouth when I did. “I don’t know yet, but I’m not ready to submit to some terrible fate decided for me by a group of assholes who think we’re just playthings to be used.”
Phillip hummed low in his throat and fixed his posture a bit. “Well, in that case, I’m in.”
