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I can’t suppress my smile. “I guess we didn’t really spend a lot of time doing things that weren’t…”
“Depraved?”
I gawp. “Depraved?! You make it sound like we were committing ritual sacrifice when you say it like that.”
He pulls our clasped hands into his lap. They rest on the warmth of his thighs. “Well, it wasn’t innocent, how about that?”
My heart rate quickens. “No, I suppose not.”
“I can’t imagine how scared you must have been.”
“I wasn’t,” I say.
He rolls his eyes. “Liar.”
I laugh. “Not a liar. My body was literally built to have babies, I wasn’t scared.”
“You know I’m not just talking about having a baby. But having a child. The whole thing.”
“Fair. I’ll give you that.”
Rex shifts in his seat, closer to the window. We’re mere inches apart. I keep my eyes downcast on our hands.
Fuck. I feel it again. That unavoidable magnetism that pulled us together.
“Will you let me see him again?” he asks.
“Yeah, I mean, if you have time.”
“’Course I got fucking time for him.”
I feel a pang of disappointment that he doesn’t mention having time for me too. “We have to be careful though. He’s sensitive.”
“I can tell. Takes after me.”
I scoff. “I’m also sensitive.”
Rex wiggles his head back and forth. “Yeah sure, in your own way. Not like we’re sensitive though.”
My body locks. Not like we’re sensitive. Leo and Rex. He’s right. Leo’s always been softer than I expected. Which is a beautiful thing. But I’m often out of my depth with him.
If he’d had Rex, that wouldn’t be the case. They’d be two peas in a pod.
“And he’s funny! That’s all you,” Rex says, moving on though I’m not ready to. I’m still hung up on my sensitive little boy.
And his sensitive, artistic father.
The famous one. Strikingly handsome. Stupidly charming.
Was mine for a brief moment in time.
“You okay?” Rex asks.
No.
I don’t say that, though.
Instead, I lean in and kiss him. The second our mouths collide it’s like fireworks in my brain. You see them every year on Independence Day and it’s always a surprise. That’s the way it is kissing Rex. Except it’s been five years and I am realizing now just how much I’ve needed him.
