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‘Do you want me to inform the others about Creon and tell them to behave?’ Tared added quietly. ‘If you prefer not to do it yourself, I mean?’
Even now, my first instinct was to flinch – to imagine Edored’s explosive fury and Hallthor’s stoic disapproval and Ylfreda wondering out loud if she should check me for brain damage after all the battles I’d recently survived. I didn’t wantanyoneto tell them. The fear was still there, rotting in the marrow of my bones – a sensation like being perched atop a narrow ridge, where every wrong move could send me toppling down into the depths.
But the safety net was there. And if I never fell, I’d never learn that, either.
‘Please,’ I whispered. ‘I would very much appreciate that.’
‘Will do.’ He finally let go of me, the gleam in his eyes betraying every emotion that familiar skewed smile of his was trying to hide. ‘We’re alright, then?’
I let out a teary, snotty chuckle. ‘You were the angry one.’
‘You were the frightened one,’ he retorted, squeezing my shoulder before he stepped back and slipped his hands into his pockets. Half of his sleeve was soaked with blood now. ‘So if there’s anything else worrying you, I would very much like to know. Anything else you’ve been too afraid to tell me?’
‘Don’t think so,’ I muttered, and when he quirked up an eyebrow, I sheepishly added, ‘Promise. On my alf honour.’
For the first time in days, his smile looked like his own again – that laconic, perfectly composed grin that said there was no trouble in the world we wouldn’t solve in the end. ‘Oh, we’ll make a decent alf out of you one day, don’t worry.’
And for some reason, that was enough to loosen another knot sitting tight in my chest.
‘Am I finally allowed to heal that arm, then?’ I said hoarsely.
‘Oh. That scratch?’ He glanced down at his soaked sleeve, then stripped it up to his bicep to reveal a small, clean cut that still bled ferociously. ‘You should let Ylfreda stitch it up and taunt me about the scar forever as the first time you managed to draw blood from me.’
I huffed a laugh and grabbed his wrist before he could object. ‘I’m notthatmuch of an alf yet. Hold still.’
He looked amused but obeyed. A single quick flash of blue from his shirt was enough to stop the bleeding; when I cleaned off some of the blood, only a pale strip of skin showed where the wound had been.
‘There.’ I let go of him, wiping my fingers on my bare forearms. ‘Ylfreda will be unhappy enough with me for nicking her contraceptives. Don’t need her to think I tried to kill you, too.’
‘The true way to infuriate her would have beennotto steal them when you needed them,’ he said wryly. ‘It’ll be fine, Em. I’ll have a word with the family. The best thing you can do is go get some sleep in the meantime.’
Sleep. When war was looming so close I could smell it. When we still had to figure out the bindings and manage a handful of obstinate phoenixes and somehow make sure not to die in the process.
But Creon was waiting for me in his bedroom –ourbedroom, damn it – and no one was going to kick me out of it.
‘Right.’ It came out a little breathless. ‘If you’re very sure there’s nothing else you need me to do right now …’
‘There’ll be more than enough on the list tomorrow.’ He ruffled my hair, then stepped back, nodding at the door I’d slammed behind me when I arrived. ‘Go to sleep, little brat. And thank you for stabbing some sense into me.’
Thank you?It seemed we still hadn't reached the deepest depths of this madness – but I was tired to the marrow of my bones, my thoughts a tangle of emotions I likely wouldn’t fully understand for a while, and I couldn’t muster the energy to point it out to him. If he had decided I’d done him a favour by falling in love with his worst enemy and injuring him over it, who was I to cause trouble?
‘You’re most welcome,’ I said weakly. ‘See you tomorrow, then?’
‘See you.’ He gestured in the direction of the Skeire home – the direction of Creon’s room – with one eyebrow raised ever so slightly. ‘I’ll knock before coming in.’
If I hadn't been so relieved, I might have thrown something at him.
But good gods, it wasintoxicating, this sudden lightness as I floated back into the shadowy corridors. The Underground still felt too small around me, the dark walls surrounding me like an ill-fitting coat on my shoulders. Passers-by still glanced at me with too much unease. Whispers rose quietly behind my back wherever I turned, loud in the absolute silence of this buried realm.
But I still had my friends.
I still had my family.
So surely I would soon feel at home again in this place, I firmly told myself.SurelyI would.
Chapter 5
For the first timein months, I slipped into the Skeire home and then Creon’s bedroom without feeling like a burglar. No more wincing at creaky hinges or backward glances before stepping into this forbidden place; after all, if loving a monster wasn't the crime I’d feared it to be all this time, who cared if they caught me?
