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‘They havealwaysrebelled.’ And suddenly I understood what was going on – what festering open wound my father had accidentally prodded with one thoughtless remark. ‘But you could simply send me and forget about it, andIwas the one who had to go there and slit their throats and feel their fear as they bled to death at my hands. Do you understand just how frightened they were, every single fucking time they took up arms again? How many times theyhavetaken exactly that risk you’re talking about?’
He fell silent, breathing heavily in the stunned quiet. On the other side of the table, Lyn had pressed her freckled hands to her mouth, amber eyes gleaming unnaturally in the firelight. Next to her, Tared gaped at Creon as if he’d never seen him talk before.
‘The question isn’tifwe’ll get them to revolt,’ Creon hoarsely added, sinking back into his chair with restless, shivering wings. ‘The power of the entire bloody empire couldn’t stop them from revolting. The question is whether we’ll get them to trust us enough to make them revoltwithus, and as Em says, we probably need the White City for that. But don’t you dare blame it on cowardice if they refuse. It’s the gods-damned opposite.’
Another silence fell. Naxi, unexpectedly, gave a ruthless little giggle.
‘Right,’ Agenor said, sounding dazed, and then again, as if to convince himself, ‘Right.’
‘The White City will be a challenge in itself, though,’ Lyn smoothly broke the deadlock – an abrupt return to the matter of strategy, but I suspected she was doing it mostly to spare Creon the embarrassment of lingering on his outburst. ‘They’re not too fond of magic over there. To put it lightly.’
‘Yes,’ Tared said, making a valiant attempt to sound like he wasn’t doubting every single thought that had passed through his mind in the past century, ‘but then again, if they know we’re mostlyfightingthe magic in this case …’
I shifted in my chair, reaching for Creon’s hand beneath the table. He didn’t look my way as his fingers curled around mine, squeezed, and let go again – a quick reassurance, and an equally clear sign that this was not the moment for concerned questions.
Fine. He’d get them later.
‘… a little hypocritical,’ Lyn was grumbling on the other side of the table, ‘for them to make such a fuss about magic when the Mother would long ago have seized the city if not for their magic defences …’
I dragged my thoughts back to the matter of human allies. ‘So that part of the stories is true? About the walls being magical in some way or another?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Lyn sat straighter with a little snort, fumbling with her curls. ‘They’re impossible for magical creatures to cross. It’s divine magic, of course – do the human stories still mention that? Another stronghold the gods built during the war, around the same time as the Underground.’
I shrugged. ‘There’s about ten million different human stories about the city. I’m sure a handful of them mention the gods at some point.’
Her laughter sounded a little wobbly. ‘Well, in any case, the bit about the walls is correct. The only way for us to enter would be through the gates, but then there’s their laws—’
‘—which forbid them from opening the gates to non-humans,’ I finished. That part I knew; it had filled my long winter nights with desperate hope, the dream that one day, in a far and wonderful future, I would never have to see those hated fae ships appear on the horizon again. ‘Do we know what the laws have to say about half humans, by any chance?’
Silence, again.
‘You’d have to go on your own, if they even let you in,’ Creon slowly said, eyes trained on that cluster of white figurines as if he could read their minds through the wood. More likely, I figured, he just wasn’t feeling like looking anyone else in the eye. ‘There’s no chance in hell they’ll allow any of us to even come close to their walls if they can help it.’
I glanced at the dark fields outside, to where Alyra had vanished the moment we’d stepped into this room. ‘Do you think the walls will stop godsworn birds from flying over them, too?’
A wry smile tugged at his lips. ‘Don’t tell her I forgot to consider that.’
‘I certainly won’t,’ I said earnestly and patted his thigh. ‘I happen to like you better with your nose still attached to your face. And either way, even if the wallswouldstop Alyra, it still shouldn’t be too dangerous for me to go, should it? Worst case, they’ll just refuse to help us. It seems unlikely they’ll try to kill me.’
‘It’s not your physical safety I’m worried about,’ he muttered. ‘You could raze the entire city to the ground if you wanted to. Just …’
He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t need to.
Just the people waiting for me.
Valter. Editta. All of Cathra – every single human he’d paid off and sent on their way that night the village had burned to the ground. I swallowed something thorny, scanning the fields again to hide the sting in my eyes – not tears, not yet, but that itch of emotion came closer than I liked all the same.
When I turned back to the others, two heartbeats and several resolute blinks later, they were all politely studying maps and nails, looking up only when I cleared my throat and managed to force out a reasonably composed, ‘Do we have any other options?’
Another silence. It was almost starting to become a comfortable routine.
‘Nothing that would solve so many of our problems at once, as far as I can see,’ Agenor said, a tightness in his voice I couldn’t fully pinpoint. Was it Creon’s outburst? The prospect of sending me anywhere alone? Or the mention of the people who had raised me in his place? ‘Assuming they allow you accessandagree to help, that is.’
Assuming I wouldn’t crumble at the sight of what might have been my future. Assuming I wouldn’t run into Valter and Editta between those famous white walls and shrink back into the helpless little girl I’d been in their home.
But if the alternative was Thysandra and the sickening workings of smooth magic …
I drew in a deep breath. ‘Let’s try, then.’
