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I never should have asked Coby to hide it. I know that. I knew it when I asked. But I asked anyway. Because I wanted him badly enough to risk everything to get him. For the first time in my life, I found someone who made me feel alive, and I loved the way that made me feel. So even knowing it would hurt my brother, I asked.
Maybe I am all of the messed-up things people used to say about me. Because normal people don't hurt the people they love like this. They don't lie and sneak around and have sex all over the place.
Maybe I don't deserve Coby or my brother.
Because they both deserved better from me.
Coby kisses me again and then presses his forehead to mine. "I love you. Wait here for me."
"Okay," I sigh.
Ten minutes later, Coby comes back into his booth, frowning.
"It didn't go well, did it?" I ask, my bottom lip quivering.
"He left," he says, striding toward me.
"He left?"
Coby nods. "Slade said he walked out of here and walked right out the front door. I tried to catch him, but he was already gone. He's not answering his phone, either. I'm going to take you home and then go find him."
"Maybe I should go look for him alone."
"Hell no."
"He won't hurt me, Coby. But he might try to fight you."
"If he swings at me, he swings at me, princess," Coby says, pulling me up from his chair. "It's no less than I deserve for what he walked in on. But I owe him an explanation. It's on me to give it to him."
"I'm the one who convinced you to hide it from him."
"I'm grown, Elodie. I could have told you no. I didn't. I was willing to keep it from him if it meant I got you out of the deal. That was my choice."
"You've been trying to get us caught for days, Coby. You were never okay with this." I smile sadly. "This is on me."
"You knew?" he asks, his eyes running across my face.
"It's not like you were subtle."
"I'd apologize, but it'd be a lie. I wanted this out in the open, princess." He tips my head up, holding my gaze captive. "I didn't want him to catch us quite like this, but I wanted him to know so we could hash this shit out and you could stop stressing about it."
"He's never going to forgive us."
"Don't underestimate him, Elodie. You're afraid because he's the most important person in the world to you, and you don't want to lose him when he's the only family you have left. But he isn't unreasonable. All he's ever wanted was for you to be happy. I make you happy."
"You make me so happy."
"Then it's time he knows that." Coby brushes his lips against mine. "The rest will work itself out eventually. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but sooner or later, it'll be fine."
It has to be because I don't know how I'm supposed to choose between the man who owns my soul and the brother who raised me. I don't think I can.
"What happened?" Gemma asks, taking one look at my face and rushing forward as soon as I step inside the apartment.
Even though I told myself I wasn't going to cry again, I burst into tears. Somehow, I manage to relay the story to her between sobs. She drags me to the couch and forces me to sit before throwing her arms around me.
"I'm so sorry, Elodie," she says, rubbing my back.
"M-me too."
I cry on her shoulder until I cry myself out, and then I try to pull myself together again. I try to call Keegan, but it goes straight to voicemail.
"Please call me," I whisper. "I'm sorry."
I disconnect, dropping my phone beside me.
"Is Coby out looking for him?"
I nod. "He wouldn't let me go with him. I don't think he wants me there in case Keegan hits him."
"You think they'll fight?"
"I think Keegan may try to kill Coby, but I don't think Coby will fight back. He says if Keegan swings on him, it's because he deserves it." I scrub my hands down my face. "Why did I ever think hiding this was a good plan? I'm such an idiot!"
"You aren't an idiot, Elodie."
"Yeah, I am. I hurt both of the men I love and for what? We ended up in the same exact place anyway. I should have just told the truth."
"If we all acted rationally when it came to love, it'd be a lot easier," Gemma says. But that's not how it works. When emotion gets involved, we do crazy things, especially when we're new at navigating those emotions. You've never felt this way before, Elodie. You've never even dated anyone before Coby. You have to give yourself a little grace to make mistakes here."
