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I thought I would start with something easy. "Do you have plans for today?"
He responded, but didn't look up at me. "Yes, I have to run a few errands, get some suits to the cleaners. Nothing big. You?"
"Probably should clean up the apartment a bit. I haven't been pulling my weight around there. I seem to be spending a lot of time with a certain Dr. Harrington."
Dom kept looking at his food but chuckled. "Yes, I suppose we have been spending more time outside of work together."
I poured him a bit more coffee.
"Is everything ok?" I asked.
I waited for him to finish chewing the bite he had in his mouth.
"I guess I'm just mulling over what happened last night and maybe what could have happened. Honestly, Calla, I feel helpless when you do compulsive things like that. I mean, something really bad could have happened to you."
As if I hadn't thought of that already myself.
"I know, Dom. And I said I was sorry. I was stupid and naïve. I don't know what else to say."
More silence.
"What could I say to make you feel better? I can't change the past! I am just thankful you were there for me. I'm sorry for wrecking your evening, but there's nothing I can do to make up for it now, is there?"
I could see him thinking about it.
"I guess I'm just being angry, but I don't really know why I'm angry. I just want you to be ok." He looked at me. "Do you remember what you said to me last night?"
I thought back to last night. What could I have said to him? Was it good? Was it bad? All of a sudden, I felt hugely exposed.
"N-no. I don't know what I said. Was it bad?" I asked, tentatively.
He looked a little crestfallen. "You don't remember what you said just before you fell asleep?"
Come on, Calla. Remember.
I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry, I don't remember."
He went back to cutting his bacon. "Well, it's not a big deal."
"Clearly, it is. I want to know what I said so that we can have an adult conversation about it. Please."
He chewed thoughtfully. I felt myself starting to get annoying at him. I didn't want him to just sit there and torture me.
"Dom…"
He turned his body fully toward me.
"Fine. You told me you loved me."
I did?
"Um. Okay." For some reason, that was the only thing I could think of to say.
He went back to chewing and looked out the window.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," I stuttered.
He looked back at me. "I guess I want to know whether you mean it. Whether we're just playing a game or whether this is for real. Come on, Calla. You know that our physical side is hot. I mean, I have never had better sex. Ever. But I feel like I want more. More of you. More of your thoughts and dreams. I just feel like you're holding yourself back." He grabbed another bite while thinking further. "I guess I want to know whether you want more. Am I asking for too much? Maybe my definition of love is different from yours."
