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"Um – I'm sorry, but could you make it 3pm? I have clinical visits until then."
"Fine." Fuck, I forgot he also had a job to attend to. Oops. But I wasn't going to give up my stance. "Goodbye." Just get the fuck out of my office.
"Oh-kay," he murmured quietly. I'm sure it was more than clear I was pissed off. I put my attention back onto my screen and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slink out of my office. Part of me loved to see him squirm like that, but he fucking deserved it.
I just felt like dissolving into tears. What happened to everything we had experienced in the past? Was I just a play-thing to him? He told me he thought he loved me. If this is how he treats people he loves, then maybe I need to re-think any kind of investment into this relationship.
I huffed to myself. This wall that Cassie accuses me of having is maybe there for good reason. It's to stop shit like this. I was so pissed off that I didn't know what to do with myself.
My anger fueled my fingers to type at double the speed. I was more than super-productive that day. I didn't want to take a coffee break or a lunch break. I didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, make any small talk that I didn't mean. I hated the world right now, and I didn't deserve this kind of treatment.
I could totally see how people get revenge bodies after they get jilted by someone. That anger is the most productive anger, and I was feeling it. Feeling it in my bones.
Fuck you, Dom. I could say that this was the first time I felt like nothing to him. And that really sucked because I thought we had something. I thought we were leading to something more. I told him I was leaning toward love. Wasn't that good enough? Wasn't that a lot? Wasn't that fucking enough?
I took a deep breath as I felt my eyes welling up with tears again. Fucking angry tears. Exhale.
FUCK.
I blasted through the morning, probably accomplishing more work than I would have gotten done in two or three days. I was a focused demon on coke. So when it was coming close to 3pm, I barely noticed.
"Calla?"
Fuck. He's back. Is it fucking 3 already?
"Hi. Come in."
"Did you want to step out to the coffeeshop down the street?"
"Sure." Why the hell not? It's probably good to get out. Deep breaths. I can do this. "Just give me a moment, will you?" I realized I hadn't even realized I hadn't been to the bathroom in a while.
"I'll be in my office. Just pop by when you're ready to go." He nodded in answer to my glare and retreated to his office.
When I was ready, I grabbed my purse and then went to his office and stood at his door.
"Ready?" I asked. I could hear the chill in my voice. Part of me felt sorry for him because this feeling was something I just couldn't control. At least it didn't feel like I could control this.
"Yes. Ready." He exchanged his clinical coat with a suit jacket he kept on the back of his door and I let him walk out ahead of me. I hated that he still looked like a muscular god who really needed to be naked right now. I saw how everyone in the waiting room looked appreciatively at him. It was clear that he had a charisma that walked out ahead of him and announced his arrival.
"Rachel, we're just stepping out for a bit. I'll be back for my final walkaround at 4pm." Dammit, I forgot he still had afternoon walkaround. Suddenly, I felt so small being so angry. I actually felt myself shrink. Dom gave his all for everyone, and I should just understand that he was super-focused on what he needed to do. There were so many people who depended on him.
I felt like throwing my arms up in the air in surrender.
Rachel acknowledged him. "No problem, Dr. Harrington. Oh, and Calla, I see you've already done the weekly updates. That was really fast!" she exclaimed.
Dom turned to look at me. "Really? That was a lot of data to input. I wasn't expecting you to finish until next week."
"Yeah. I guess you could say I was quite focused today." Turning to Rachel, "Thanks, Rachel."
"See you two later."
Getting out of the elevator, we stepped out into the beautiful, non-conditioned air and felt the sun on our faces. We put on our sunglasses and it reminded me of how gorgeous Dom was. How can I stay angry with this man? He's amazing on so many levels and I'm just an impetuous thing who's just being stupid.
I sighed to myself, walking just a half step behind Dom. I felt sheepish, but I also felt mad. Mostly, I felt unsure of how to approach this whole situation.
He opened the door to The Mug, and I stepped in. I took a deep breath and let my shoulders fall as I soaked in the gorgeous smell of coffee with the yummy pastries they had on offer. This would probably help my mood considerably.
"Dr. Harrington," the barista called out as we walked in. "Nice to see you again."
