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I consider Kip’s suggestion – going on a date. I’ve never been on one. I haven’t found a man who isn’t intimidated by my family background, by my brothers or by my job. Not that I’ve met many men since I got my job, apart from Kip and the others in the Bureau. What is it about men and wanting to be superior? Why can’t they stand women who can beat them in basketball or chess? Who can finish a burger faster than they can? Who can hold their alcohol better? Who can replace a busted tire faster? Why do they prefer women who wear makeup and heels and talk about nothing but makeup and heels?
Well, that’s their problem. I don’t need a man anyway. I don’t want one. I have three brothers. I’ve trained and worked with plenty of men. I know just how much of a pain in the ass they can be. Why on earth would I want one of my own?
Okay. So no dates. Maybe I’ll just watch TV all day. Some of those police or crime dramas. But if I do that, I’ll just get frustrated because they’re unrealistic. And they’ll make me miss my job more. A romantic TV series, then? No, thank you. A sitcom? Too shallow. A documentary? Too heavy. A reality show? Too much drama.
Fine. No TV. I guess I can buy a puzzle with 5,000 pieces and build that? What’s the point of it, though? I’ll just cook, then, try some new recipes. But then I’d have too much food and I’m the only one here. What about painting? Or gardening? The thought alone makes me want to yawn.
And I do end up yawning, which gives me another thought. There’s at least one thing I’m sure I want to do – sleep. Not sure when I last had enough of that.
I finish up the last bowl and head up to my bedroom. For once, I don’t have to set an alarm, so I skip right to taking off my robe, turning off the lights and crawling into bed.
Who knows? Tonight, I might be able to sleep better than I have in years.
~
I wake up panting, heart racing. My eyes, wide open, stare at the ceiling as I wait for the wisps of my nightmare to fade.
Boarded windows. Cobwebs. Cereal in a dog bowl. A large teddy bear with big, red button eyes. Empty eyes.
I shake them off and sit up. My arms go around myself as I try to fight the fear.
Nearly twenty years and the nightmare still haunts me. Each time I feel like I’ve finally left it behind, it comes back. And like the time it actually happened, it still leaves me shaking, feeling so alone and so scared.
It’s the worst feeling in the world.
I get out of bed and wash my face just to remind myself of reality, of the present. Then I grab my robe and head down to the kitchen for a glass of water.
As I drink, I try not to think of the nightmare. I fail.
I set down my glass. My gaze falls on the scratches on my hand.
Maybe I was crazy to go after Bruno Zane by myself, after all. That time in the basement has opened a can of worms. Then again, I can’t keep hiding my head in the sand. I can’t keep running away. Wasn’t the reason I joined the FBI so I could bring those monsters to justice?
I glance at my laptop on the counter.
Why I joined the FBI…
When I started, one of the first things I did was try to gather information about what I’d been through. I meant to find out who was behind it. But then I was given a case to work on. And another. And another. Eventually, I forgot about what I wanted to do. I was so wrapped up in other cases, in saving other people, in putting away other monsters, that I forgot my own case, my own fight, my own monsters. Kip’s right. I got so lost in my work that I forgot about myself.
Now, I remember. Now, I have time, time to get the answers that have eluded me for such a long time.
My lips curve into a grin as I turn on my laptop.
I know exactly what I’m going to do.
Chapter Two
Cain
I pick up a scrap of mesh from the ground.
Great. Even my traps were destroyed by that nasty storm last night. I guess I’ll have to put up new ones.
As I look around, I realize just how nasty that storm was. Some trees have been pulled from the ground, the muddy roots that used to keep them standing tall now sticking out. Others have been reduced to stumps that look too painful to sit on. The stronger ones remain erect but have been robbed of thousands of leaves, which now cover the soil along with dozens of branches that now lie scattered everywhere, some up to four feet long and some split in two.
