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That gets my heart beating faster. “What do you mean?”
“Firstly, I want you to understand something.” He puts his hand under my chin and draws my eyes to his. “I need you to look me in the eye when I say this. I need you to understand just how serious I am.”
“I’m listening.”
“I’m doing everything in my power to win this war quickly. And I’m going to do my damndest to stay alive while doing it. The only reason I would ever leave you—the only fucking reason in this entire world, Wren—is if I have no other choice. Do you hear me?”
Tears well up in my eyes, but I nod again, feeling like a mute, useless bobblehead. “I hear you.”
“When I’m not with you, Aleks will be. When Aleks is not with you, I will be. If neither one of us can be with you, I have Pavel, Vasily, Volkov, and Maksim all assigned to put their lives on the line to keep you and our son safe. The four of them will not engage with the Italians or the Irish. Their sole responsibility is to keep the two of you safe from harm.”
“But—”
He holds up his hand commandingly and I fall silent. “You can trust all of them. They will protect you with their lives. Even if I’m gone.”
Goosebumps pepper my skin at the very thought. It’s horrible to even imagine—but the more he talks, the more I find myself imagining it. I want him to stop; I want to pretend as though this whole conversation is unnecessary. Just tell me I’m being silly, goddammit!
But hell, I’m the one who asked for it, right? And if I can’t take hard truths, then I don’t belong by his side.
I appreciate that he’s willing to tell them to me.
His grip on my hand gets tighter. “I wouldn’t be telling you all this unless I thought you could handle it, Wren. And you can handle it. You have to. For our son.”
It’s like he read my thoughts.
It’s also a good reminder that the stakes are high and I need to hear this. “Go on.”
“So should anything happen, they’ll take you out of here. Out of Chicago and somewhere far away, somewhere safe. Pavel has the key to the lockbox that contains everything you’ll need. New identities, bank account information, passwords, access codes. There’s enough money in the accounts to last three lifetimes over.”
A shiver runs down my body. “Dmitri?—”
“I’ve thought of everything, baby. I’ve made sure you’ll want for nothing. If I don’t make it, I’m gonna make damn sure that you and my son do. I told you from the start that I’ve got you, Wren. I’ve got you. I’ve always, always got you.”
I twist our hands around so that I’m gripping him now. “I know,” I whisper. “I know you do. But as grateful as I am that you’ve thought of everything, it’s not what I want.” He opens his mouth but I press my fingers over his lips. “I don’t want a new identity or four protectors or safehouses in Paris or Timbuktu or wherever the fuck. I want you, Dmitri Egorov. I want us to raise this baby together. I want us to be a family. So do whatever you have to do to win this war—because I don’t want to be a single mother. I refuse to be.”
His eyes blaze with fresh determination as he nods. “Well, if you refuse… I guess I have no choice but to win.”
Fresh tears slip down my cheeks. I might just be falling in love with him all over again. “You promise?”
He doesn’t hesitate to answer. “I swear it.”
31
DMITRI
Aleks slaps his hands together and gives me a smile that makes him look like a cartoon villain. If he had a mustache, he’d be twirling it devilishly.
His face drops when he realizes I’m not partaking in the same level of enthusiasm. “Why don’t you look happier?” he demands. “We just won a big victory today, man. Another one. That’s two Irish safehouses in two days. At this rate, there’ll be scrambling to find storm drains to hide in. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Those last two safehouses were unmanned and unprotected. They were both sitting ducks.”
“And you have a problem with that because…?”
“Because it smells like a trap.” My fists clench like they have a mind of their own. Aleks has never been one to question things to death—but me? I take after my father that way. “It was too damn easy, brat. Why the fuck would he forfeit his kingdom, one brick at a time? It makes no sense. Cian’s not even trying to put up a fight.”
“Because he probably knows he can’t win.”
“Cian cares about his men. He also has Vittorio on his side.” I grind my teeth hard enough to feel a twinge of pain. “Why would he admit defeat when this war has only just started?”
