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My eyes narrow. Isn’t that the doctor from the courthouse?
My chest tightens. I try to shake off the weight of jealousy and tell myself that they probably just ran into each other, or maybe she’s just asking for his professional opinion. All that, goes down the drain, when he wraps his arms around her.
And she does the same.
A lump forms in my throat.
So Jodie’s moved on, has she? Why not? I told her it was best for us not to see each other anymore, after all. And of course, it would be with the handsome doctor she already had a crush on. He seemed like a good man, and he’s probably better for her than I am.
I tell myself all these things calmly, and yet my chest feels about to burst with a storm of emotions. I’m clenching my fists so hard my nails are digging into my palms, the skin on the verge of breaking. My teeth scrape against each other inside my constricted jaws.
“Hey!”
The deep voice of the guy from security breaks me out of my cage. The sight of him at the top of the stairs sends me running. He chases me, of course, but I’m younger, faster. And I don’t stop running until I find myself outside the building, in the parking lot. As I stop to catch my breath, drops of water fall from the sky and land on the top of my head and the back of my sweat-drenched shirt.
I lift my head and let the raindrops trickle down my cheeks like the tears I wish I could shed. They drip down my skin and seep through my clothes.
And still, they can’t wash away the pain inside my chest.
But I think I know something that will.
~
I’ve nearly finished a whole bottle of whiskey when my phone rings. The first time I try to answer it, it slips from my fingers and falls on my lap. I try again.
“Hello,” I answer in a slurred voice.
If the person on the other end of the line doesn’t want to speak to a drunk, they’re free to hang to hang up and leave me the hell alone.
“Boss?” I hear Dino’s voice.
I lean back in my chair and grin. “Dino, what’s up?”
“Are you okay?” he asks in a tone of concern. “Because I can just call later if…”
“I’m fine,” I tell him. “What is it?”
Good news or bad news, I don’t care. This day can’t possibly get better or worse.
“It’s about the footage I was trying to retrieve,” he says. “The one from the camera near the warehouse.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, boss, but I can’t do it. The footage wasn’t just buried. It’s been corrupted.”
I tap my fingers on my thigh. “I see.”
I guess that means I won’t know who was at that warehouse, which means I may never find out who killed Bart.
Great. Another fucking door slammed in my face. Then again, who cares? Bart’s dead anyway. Finding out who killed him won’t bring him back or make a fucking difference. Jodie will just have to move on. Anyway, she’s got that doctor to help her.
I grab the glass of whiskey and take another gulp.
“Boss?” Dino asks.
I forgot he was still there.
“It’s okay,” I tell him after wiping my chin. “You did a good job.”
I hang up and throw my phone on the table then drink the remaining whiskey. The spicy liquid blazes down my throat all the way to my stomach, leaving a buzz inside my head.
But it’s still not enough to make me forget about Jodie.
How on earth do you forget a woman you’ve loved all your life? A woman you’ve waited so long to have only to lose her after just a few weeks?
Maybe the better question is: How did I fall in love with a woman who I knew would never be mine?
God, I’m messed up.
I set the empty bottle on the table and force myself to stand. I fail the first two times but succeed the third.
Good. I can still drink.
I make my way to the shelf where I put the other bottle, but before I reach it, the doorbell to my suite rings.
My eyes, which I can barely keep open, grow wide.
Can it be Jodie? Has she realized she’s better off with me than with that doctor because I love her so damned much? Has she found out she loves me, too?
I rush to the door, almost stumbling. I fumble with the bolt, but eventually I manage to open the door.
Instead of Jodie, I see a man standing there, with a blue uniform and a gleaming badge.
“Leonardo Ursini, you’re under arrest.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jodie
I lift the hem of my shirt as I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and stare at my stomach. I don’t see any difference so I turn sideways. There’s a bump, alright, but that’s just the sandwich I ate. And the fries. And the doughnuts. And the ice cream. Somehow, as soon as I stepped out of the hospital, I had this urge to go on a food binge, and for the first time in my life, I felt it was perfectly okay.
