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“It’s okay. Just stay here.”
I don’t really mind the mess between my legs. It’s a small price to pay for all the pleasure I’ve just experienced. It’s the first time I’ve felt pleasure during sex, actually. With Jim and his friends, it was always fast and rough, always about their pleasure and not mine.
I push the thought of them away. Whatever they did doesn’t come close to what Antonio and I just had, and I’m not going to let even the memory of them ruin that.
Antonio climbs back into bed. I pull the blanket up to my waist, rest my head on his shoulder and place my hand on his chest. I glance at his stomach.
“Are you okay?” I ask him.
“I am now,” he answers. “Thanks to you.”
He looks at me and the gentleness in his eyes fills my chest with warmth. I smile.
“You’re welcome.”
He rests his chin on my head and rubs my shoulder as he falls silent. I can tell he’s sinking into the quicksand of his thoughts again.
I’m not going to let him.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him. “Whatever you think is your fault, it’s not.”
“Kevin is,” he says sadly. “The truth is I could have saved him. I was just a few feet away from him. But I froze. I got a flashback and I froze.”
“A flashback?” I arch my eyebrows at him.
“I was in a fire before I was brought here,” Antonio confides in me. “I knew it from the burns that I had.”
He rolls up his pants to show me the one on his leg. I try not to grimace at the sight of the damaged skin.
“But I didn’t remember it until now. It was such a vivid memory, more so than the others I’ve had, that I felt as if I was reliving it. I lost track of everything else.”
I’ve felt that way too sometimes. During the times when I felt so helpless and hopeless, I’d relive a memory and forget everything else. It’s a pity that Antonio had to remember something unpleasant.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him again. “The fire triggered your memory.”
“And because of that, Kevin died.”
I shake my head. “The house was already burning, Antonio. You shouldn’t even have gone in. If you had reached him, maybe both of you would have died.”
A thought I can’t stand to ponder.
“I don’t know why you try so hard to save lives,” I go on. “You’re already a doctor. You don’t have to go out of your way to be a hero.”
“I’m not trying to be a hero.”
“But you put everyone else before yourself. Why? Is it because you still feel like you’re trying to earn your place here? Or is it because you feel like you don’t deserve to live?”
Antonio lets out a breath. “Wow. I didn’t know I was that obvious.”
So I’m right? I’m not glad to be.
“Summerset is your home and this is your life,” I tell him. “You should enjoy them and make the most of them both for your own sake.”
“Says the woman who’s trying to throw away both.”
I frown. Touche.
“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly. “I said I wouldn’t bring it up anymore.”
“It’s fine. What you said is true anyway.”
For a moment, Antonio falls silent. Then he speaks. “Speaking of Summerset, you haven’t been able to see much of the town, have you?”
“Just the chapel and the barn and the houses along the road,” I answer.
“Not the best parts. How about I take you to my favorite spot? Who knows? You might fall in love with Summerset.”
“Oh, this is another ploy to make me stay, is it?”
He doesn’t answer.
I know it is. Still, I can’t help but be curious about his favorite spot. I want to know everything about him.
“Fine,” I say. “Hit me with your best spot.”
Chapter Ten
Antonio
“Here we are.”
I put my backpack and the picnic basket down beside the boulder I carved my name into years ago. Then I look around.
The spring makes a gurgling sound as it empties into a pond which in turn empties into the river. Beside it, sunlight filters through the trees to sprinkle a small patch of wildflowers, as colorful as the butterflies they host.
It’s a simple sight, nothing spectacular, but there is something I’ve always found beautiful and serene about it. Enchanting even. I’m hoping Triss will feel the same.
“Well?” I ask her. “What do you think?”
“I think it’s worth the hike,” Triss replies.
I scratch the back of my head. “Didn’t I carry you most of the way?”
“It’s lovely. And peaceful.” She looks at me. “And I’m glad you found it.”
“Same here.”
When I first started living in Summerset, I didn’t feel like I belonged, mainly because I didn’t. But here, in this place, it seems that only I exist. Nothing else matters.
“Do you come here often?” Triss asks me as she sits on a rock.
