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But since Curt rescued me from the fire and he and I reconnected, I feel an affinity for those artists that I’ve never felt before. This song, in particular, encapsulates the feeling I have when I think of Curt.
Falling in love with him is interesting. On one hand, the passion we feel when we meet is immediate and intense. There’s no slowly coming to desire each other or gradually realizing that we’re more than just friends or that our feelings are getting stronger. We immediately and completely fall head over heels.
On the other hand, I don’t think either of us believes we have a future, so we approach that relationship as something transient, something temporary. Even when Curt asks me to stay, he does so seeming to understand that I’m going to say no, that I have to say no.
Now, though, the love we share is deeper. It didn’t start that way. It grew that way. Even after he rescued me, and we restarted what never should have ended, things didn’t start off the way they are now, with both of us certain that we are two halves of the same hole, destined to spend eternity together.
It grew into that. Like a flower growing from a seed.
“When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long, and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong, just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows lies the seed that with the sun’s love in the spring becomes the rose.”
As the last lingering notes of the song fade into the cheers—and in a few cases tears—of the crowd, I smile at the rose of my love, the man with whom I will spend the rest of eternity, whether that eternity takes place here on tour with my band or whether it takes place in the city where he still serves with Fire Company 417 or whether it takes place somewhere else entirely. Hell, it could take place in all three places at once. As long as I’m with Curt, I’m happy.
I thank the gathered crowd, then head backstage. The band congratulates me on another successful show, and I return their sentiment. It feels strange to be playing with a band in scheduled shows instead of just carrying my guitar with me and playing on street corners, but I find I don’t lack the wonder and appreciation for life I think I will if I give up my freedom. In fact, as I walk into the arms of my smiling husband, I realize I feel more free than I ever have in my life.
Curt embraces me tightly, and I can feel the warmth emanating from his body. It’s as if his very essence is what’s keeping me alive. I’ve never felt so safe and content at the same time. Being with him at this moment feels like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, like the universe has conspired to bring us together.
“Congratulations, beautiful,” Curt whispers into my ear. “You killed it out there.”
“Thanks, babe,” I say, feeling my cheeks flush. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
We stand there for a few moments, just holding each other, enjoying the silence. The noise of the crowd has faded away, replaced by the sound of our breathing. He kisses my ear softly and whispers, “Do you fancy a run?”
My heartbeat quickens as I smile and nod.
I say my goodbyes to the band and promise to be back early in the morning so we can travel to our next destination. Ten minutes later, Curt and I are in the forest. I cling to his back and grin as I feel his powerful body surging underneath me. I am alive. Curt is alive. We are alive.
And every day is an adventure.
* * *
