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And then, to make matters worse, she basically asked me why.
No man wants to pour his heart out to a girl who has no intention of returning the feelings. I mean, I’m certain she has feelings for me, but when I distantly dream about a future, it includes a wife and kids. A family.
That isn’t what she wants, at least not with me, and that’s fine. She’s entitled to her own future. Ours just don’t align. Am I such a bad guy for wanting to stop everything before I’m in too deep? It hardly seems fair to me, or her, especially if she already knows I’m not the one for her.
I just wish she had shuttered her emotions instead of letting me see them. Maybe she didn’t realize she was, but she did, and when I close my eyes, I see hers. And what I saw was hurt, betrayal, and something I can’t quite put my finger on.
She asked me in New York if we needed to talk about us, and maybe I should have pushed her a little more as to why she wanted to. I didn’t think at the time we needed to have any conversations, certainly not the “where do you see yourself in five years” one, but clearly, I was wrong. I told her I wanted to win over her heart, but I never asked her if that was what she wanted. I just assumed she was on board, and she never led me to believe otherwise.
I also assumed she wanted to win mine as well, which she did, and boy, am I glad I never told her.
“So much for having a guys’ night out. You’re terrible company,” Cole says.
“What do you mean?” I turn to face him.
We’ve come into town to Route 11. There are other places we can go, but we like Graham. He opened this brewery a little over a year ago. He brews a tasty IPA, and he keeps two of my ciders on tap.
“You’ve said four words since we’ve been here. ‘I’ll have an IPA.’ You didn’t even say hi to Graham. You just gave him a head nod,” Cole chastises me.
I look around the place, and it’s quite busy for a Friday night. Then again, we’re still in season for fall, and tourists are heavy in town. It’s almost November, though, so this will die down quickly.
Just as I’m about to swivel back on my seat, in walks Clay and Ash. It didn’t occur to me that we might run into them, but here they are. Clay’s face lights up when he sees me, and the two of them make their way toward us. Guests of the brewery have spotted them, and a few phones have come out, but other than that, there’s no fan activity. It’s nice that these two can walk into a bar in town and not be bothered.
“It’s the man, the myth, the legend,” Clay says to me as he claps me on the shoulder, smiles at Cole, and takes the seat next to me at the bar. Ash posts up next to him.
“Hey,” I tell him as Graham pops over, says hello, and takes their order.
“You should have seen your boy here on Saturday night.” He grins as he talks around me to Cole. “Emma and I are still talking about your showdown at the Rhodeses’ place. You did what the girls have been wanting to do for years.”
“Avery and I wish we had been there to see it, too. Her jaw fell open when Emma called and told us.”
I have mixed emotions about their reactions. Part of me feels proud that they’re excited for her, that she finally stood up to them, but the other part of me feels angry that they’ve known her for all these years and didn’t help her sooner. I know she’s stubborn and independent when it comes to her life, but these people are her people, and they should have put a stop to it sooner. Goldie’s family is emotionally abusive.
Needing to change the subject, I turn to Clay. “Didn’t expect to see you out tonight. Figured you’d be at home soaking up being back in town.”
“Oh, trust me, I’d love to be there, but Emma and Cora are fussing over the baby shower decorations, and I thought it was just best to flee. Ash here took pity on me.”
“It’s fine. Avery’s friend Rosie is in town and staying with us, and I’m certain the two of them didn’t even notice I left,” Ash says.
This surprises me. One, because I didn’t know Avery’s shower was this weekend, and two, I didn’t know Goldie wasn’t at home. “Cora’s at your house?” I ask Clay.
“Yep. She has been for the last two hours.”
“Huh,” I say more to myself than him. I look down at the bar and think about how many times I’ve heard a noise over the past couple of days, pulled back the curtains, and looked out the front window to see if she was driving by. It wasn’t her. She hasn’t left her house since Tuesday, and only once did I see an Amazon truck and a FedEx truck roll up the road. She must have left today when I was in the shower.
“Are you glad to be back?” Cole asks Clay.
Graham drops their drinks and wanders off.
“So glad. I had a great time in New York, but I was ready. I think Emma was too. I know she loves it there and wants to split time, but I’m hoping down the road we’ll be here a little more than there. Central Park is great in the fall, but nothing beats the mountains here. I missed it. Moose certainly is glad to be back, too. He raced around the house like it was a speedway track for a solid five minutes.”
“Avery was on pins and needles too. She was basically counting down the minutes until she could drive over and be with her friend,” Ash says, sipping his beer and angling more so he’s facing us.
He looks at Ash. “You could have warned us about the baked goods coming. It’s the most we’ve ever received in one haul. Banana bread, apple cobbler, and double chocolate chip muffins.”
Ash chuckles. “She just wanted to make sure y’all had some food.”
Cora once told me that Avery is the baker of the three of them, and apparently, she meant that.
