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Tanael struck purposefully with his sword, wings, and light bursts from his other hand. At first, he kept the monsters at a distance, but Nash caused more and more demons to emerge from the shadows. They surrounded the angel, and he had difficulty defending himself. There were too many of them. The first blow that struck one of his wings sent him reeling. Blood gushed from the wound, and the subsequent attack left Tanael barely able to lift his wing.
Panic welled up inside me. I had to do something, or they would kill him. Determined, I looked down at the trembling dagger in my hands. But what could I do? I wasn't good enough with weapons to defend our lives with only one dagger.
I needed courage and knew where I could find it: deep inside me, in my darkness.
So, I closed my eyes and dived into my innermost being. I blocked out the sounds of battle, searching for the courage to face these monsters.
I quickly reached the dark swathes that had held and comforted me so often, but I needed more. I slipped even deeper into the blackness that felt like security.
Wait! Suddenly, I sensed an energy I didn't recognize—a power. Connected to my darkness, I discovered something golden in the abyss of myself—Hades.
Attracted by this, I penetrated further into this network, detaching myself from my body until I reached a core that looked like a cell. The outer shell was made of a transparent material and reminded me of Tanael's irises.
Tiny sparks of light circled it, and a sphere floated inside. At first, it appeared black, like ink, but on closer inspection, I realized that it wasn't. Gazing at it was like gazing at the universe—the universe before the formation of planets and stars. I stared at it in disbelief. I wanted to go to it, break the golden shell, and throw myself into its infinity. All my will crashed into the translucent wall, which shattered into a thousand tiny particles.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard a scream.
"No, Haye! Don't do that!"
But by then, it was already too late, and the core had swept me away. Images came flooding back to me—so many memories that couldn't be mine. I flew through time and space: Myrina, the Amazon; Helena, the queen of Sparta; Morgan le Fay, sister of King Arthur and priestess of Avalon. So many women, so many mythical figures, and so many images.
These memories had one thing in common: Tanael was in all of them. Haye, his voice echoed through me a thousand times, through my flashbacks, my lives.
Because that was what was unfolding before me here, thousands of lives I had lived before this one.
Then, I was struck by the memory that was most deeply rooted in me.
A fire crackled around me, and I saw him standing through the flames. My Tanael. He was screaming and raging, and pain distorted his face. But I did not feel the pain of the gnawing tongues of fire. I would return, and no matter how many more times I had to die violently, I would always come back to him. His love and our brief happiness were worth it. I couldn't imagine existing without him.
I love you, I whispered to him in my mind. His gaze found me. Pleading. I could feel him breaking inside.
I will always love you, too. To infinity, he whispered back, and his golden irises held so much love that my heart overflowed. Then his expression changed, became determined, and the plea for forgiveness brushed my mind. That's when he struck.
I looked around me in panic. I was in the middle of a sea of fire on a pyre. Where was I? Who was I? The pain became unbearable. One last scream escaped my throat before the darkness swept me away.
Blinking, I opened my eyes. I was back in Derinkuyu, standing in the middle of the cave that had once been the cloverleaf church. Black mist was seeping out of my hands, already retreating back into my innermost being.
Dead Ankou and Keren formed a bloody circle around me, and at my feet lay Tanael. Nash was nowhere to be seen.
I quickly bent down to the angel.
"Tanael," I whispered softly and stroked his cheek. He was the love of my life, and for so long, my heart had longed for its counterpart.
Tentatively, he stirred and then opened his eyes. His gold had not changed in thousands of years.
"Haye." He lovingly pulled me to him and kissed me with a passion that resembled my own. A passion that had been raging inside me for half an eternity, waiting for the moment when it was finally released.
"Why did you do that? Seek out your darkness?" His despair pierced my heart.
"Because I love you—and I will always love you—I don't care who you are or why you think we can't be together." Why didn't he understand that?
"Do you know who I am? Do you even know who you are?"
I observed him in confusion. What a question!
"You are Tanael, the God of the First Light and a fallen angel," I smiled. "I am Myrina, a ..." I was not human. I only realized that now that I wanted to say it.
"You're not human, Haye," Tanael confirmed my assumption. He looked at me tenderly, and sadness crossed his golden irises.
